I won the battle with D13. She is a little less hot headed now. I know it won't last forever but she is a quick learner so hopefully this adolesence won't be a tedious as the previous two!
Naej I did get some good news this morning. I don't want to post it here just in case a certain someone does read here but let's just say it takes a little bit of pressure off. Also the 'deal' hasn't been fully struck but it should be by the end of the day.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Oh bout time Alison! I had a hamper delivered to me today and that was the most lovely suprize. My kids are popping home 2mrw as well cos my maybe soon to be DIL thought I sounded a little down when we spoke on the ph.so she told my son they were coming for the week-end.! I only have one daughter and she is the best so another one will be fantastic. Hope all goes well.
Hs L sent me a 'proposal' from 'his client' yesterday for financial settlement. It was a joke. This man says he wants me out of his life - for good- and yet he doesn't want a clean break settlement! He nobly is prepared to wait for his investment in the house until D13 is 18. In other words he wants to wait until the housing market has recovered and then claim his share of all my hard work to keep the mortgage going.
Aint happening.
He either wants me or he doesn't. Fully in or fully out. No negotiation.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I remember the divorce negotiations, mine sound similar to yours. They say they want out, but sometimes their actions don't show it.
I have a 14 year-old at home. These adolescent years are hard. They can get so moody and difficult. I noticed yesterday that she behaves much like ex does. At times it is so overwhelming.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
He nobly is prepared to wait for his investment in the house until D13 is 18. In other words he wants to wait until the housing market has recovered and then claim his share of all my hard work to keep the mortgage going.
I think i made progress with moving on today. Twice I have referred to my H as my ex. I've never done this before and have even sought to use different words that imply the same meaning. Today I just couldn't be bothered. I still don't want him to be my ex but in reality it is what he will become sooner rather than later.
The 'deal' that was half brokered on Friday is still waiting to be sealed. However, I've just had the offer of something even better (and that deal is definately sealed) so I'm glad the other party were slow. Thier loss!
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
My D18 got her A level results this morning. She got an A and two Bs. She has done incredibly well but sadly it wasn't enough to get her into her university of choice. Even more gut wrenching is that it wasn't even enough to get her a place at her second choice. She is devasted. I'm trying to come to terms with having to console a child who has done so well and yet still sees herself as a failure.
I had wanted to go with her to collect her results but she had invited her BF to go with her so I stepped back. Now she is still at college going through the clearing system trying to get herself a place at university. I was going to go down there just so that I can show my support but as I was abuot to leave she rang me to give me an update and when I said I was coming down she said there wasn't room for me. She meant physically in the space that has been provided for students in her position but she might just as well have meant room in her life b/c that's how hurt I feel at not being there for her.
Can anyone please tell me why every time I take a big step forward it is followed by an even bigger step backwards?
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Dear Alison, this is not a step backwards at all, PLEASE this is teenage behaviour. Mums fade into the background with kids this age. I know I,ve done it 3 times and survived. One day you will realise that your daughters are the closest and most caring people you could ever meet. For now she is spreading her wings, wanting to stand on her own two feet, like we all did at that age.That shows you have done a good job in preparing her for her independance. Isn't that what "rearing" children is all about virtually from the day they are born we raise them to grow up and eventually away. She certainly is no failure and a very bright child. I guess she wanted v popular uni's and courses that they can pick the crem da la crem from. She will find a place I am sure. Failing that if she wants to do med, or vet or whatever she can always do resits! I know not what she may want. She called you, so be thankful for that and your time will come when she needs your help and support. It hurts I know and probably more so with what your going through as well. Be proud of her and just take a back seat for now. Many congratulations to you and her on her achievements.
well done and good luck with work.