Don't strangle him...I'd hate to have to send you bail money.
But it sure would be fun!
It just makes me mad that he can start a conversation with me and then just run when it turns into something he doesn't want to talk about. He makes things so much more stressful by dragging them out rather than dealing with them. Ugh.
I am having kind of a down day today for whatever reason. Maybe it's because of the emails from xh yesterday...guess it got my mind back on him.
I still have moments of "is this really happening???" It just seems everything happened so fast. How could his mind change so quickly both times? One minute he is telling me we belong together the next minute a girl is hiding in his apartment. I don't get it. I guess I never will get what is going through his mind.
I am keeping myself busy though. Ran 3 miles yesterday...felt pretty good.
Kris...having a girl hiding in his apartment implies he WASN'T thinking...at least with the big brain!
Glad you are keeping busy and working out. That helps a lot.
But still, we all have down days. I know exactly what you mean about the contact making you think, I am having the same thing with a little contact from my STBXH and I'm fighting with sadness/loss all over again as a result. But it gets better.
(((Kris)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
So you're dealing with a conflict avoider. Well no wonder he frustrates you. You need answers and he leaves you hanging. It's so hard to live like that under any circumstances!
I'm sure your ex's e-mails have something to do with your mood. I always do better emotionally when I have no contact. Having to deal with them brings the pain back to the surface and that sucks! Your also right about feeling like this isn't happening. I used to think that this whole divorce thing was so surreal since it was the last thing that I ever thought I would be going through. All I can say is that you do make peace with the situation, and although you still have the memories to live and deal with, it does get easier.
Besides, you still have your whole life ahead of you and I know that you WILL be happay again!
Thanks girls. Back to no contact. I hate that he can contact me whenever he wants because he knows exactly when I work and can call my work phone or email me at work....but yet I can't contact him if I need him. Ugh.
I am trying to make peace, I just have so much resentment towards him because I gave up a lot to be with him....oh well, I am going to have to figure out how to let that go. I guess in time.
On a brighter note, I finally talked to someone about the apartment. She put me on the list for January but said she thought it would be ready sooner than that. I got an end apartment and these are only one story so I will only have one person beside me. She said that was the best apartment in the whole complex but nobody wanted to wait on it as it will probably be the last one done.
It just seems everything happened so fast. How could his mind change so quickly both times? One minute he is telling me
I was reading yesterday about John Edwards and his A, about how he admitted to be a narcissist, that he could get away with anything and that there were no consecuences,I think that also applies to both our stbx's, they thought they could get away with anything, fooling both us and the ow's, nothing to do with our worth as person but with their worthlessness as decent human beings.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
You may be right Cat. I do think xh could be a narcissist...although I don't think he was always that way. I think that part of his personality developed after he returned from Iraq. I don't know. Maybe he felt invincible? Really, I don't really care WHY....I am tired of making excuses for him.
I am feeling a little better today. Yesterday was just really bad, not sure why. I mean I was having really bad thoughts yesterday.
I am going to my usual dinner tonight though so that should be fun. Maybe it will get me out of my funk.
