We talked a little bit through text last night. It was a short conversation, nothing too important. I had ended the conversation with a text that was lighthearted and small joke. That was around 11 or so.
Around 1 am she replied to it with a laugh and told me she was going to bed. I replied to it by telling her to sleep well. I didn't expect any response from that, but she asked what I was still doing up. I simply told her that I wasn't tired.
She told me that she had a dr appointment today to check up on her blood pressure...and then kind of opened up about being stressed about some things, like nothing panning out so far with her job search, etc. I just told her to remain positive and to let me know how her dr appointment turned out. That's the jist of it, but I just kind of showed her some support like I would for anybody else in that situation.
She sent me a text this morning telling me she was at the Dr. Office and was feeling like her bp was high again, she had a headache and didn't feel well. She said she was stressing and then told me she thought it was being back in this area that was doing it to her, because she felt fine all summer. Now I know that it's not the town that is stressing her, but I didn't want to tell her she was being ignorant. I wasn't sure how to be supportive though, so I told her that she was just more worried about stuff now because camp isn't keeping her busy.
I told her to let me know when she was done and I would call her. So she did. I called her and asked her how it went. She let me know. I asked her why she was stressing so much and she was like, "Oh, everything!" and then she went into everything she was stressing about. Her looking for a new job, her bp, her surgery, her parents/family, etc. It's the same old run of the mill stuff that she has always stressed about. One of the things she said she was stressing about was me. I asked her why I would be stressing her. She told me that I always do and made a comment that made me think that she was still thinking about me.
She told me that she met her new guys mom the other day. His parents are divorced. She said it didn't go well at all. She said she's never had a parent that didn't like her and this lady was cold as ice with her. She's supposed to meet his dad this week sometime.
I'm trying to be supportive of her decision, but it's kind of hard. I'm staying light hearted with our conversations so that I don't get stressed about things. Fake it til you make it...detach.
The past couple of weeks, she has opened up to me a lot and I can see everything for what it is. She made the comment the other day when we had coffee that she needed to vent, and nobody else understood but me, and she even listed out her few friends and then said, "...and Aaron sure as heck doesn't understand." It's obvious to me that she was worried about dealing with the things we dealt with; finances, me having kids, etc. And she started looking for something that didn't have those issues, but the new package came with it's own issues; mom that doesn't like her, impotence, etc. The new guy always looks better because you don't know everything about them. They start out being really supportive and it seems like eden, but you're not dealing with real life issues that you have to with the person you have been with for a long time, and know inside and out. I wonder if in time, she will truly be happy.
She told me that there were 7 openings in a local school system. I asked her if she was going to apply, and she said there was no way, she wasn't going to work here at all.
We joked around a little bit about a few things for a while, and then I figured I should end the convo and get back to work.
I asked her what her plans were for the rest of the week. She said she wasn't sure. So I told her that with her plans coming up, and my plans, that Thursday might be our last time to do anything together. She told me she would get back with me, because she didn't know when Aaron was coming back into town for the weekend. They are going down to her sisters for her neice's birthday party. So that was that.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
