Onward but not so Upward right now

[mishka422]

Thanks K!

I have a question about boundaries I'm hoping some of you wise people may be able to help me with.

Monday H had asked if s13 needed to be picked up from football practice (via text because that is the only way he does anything). I told him then that I was picking him up and taking him to karate that night but he could pick him up Tuesday after practice because I had a parent's meeting I needed to be at for football. He said that he would and thanked me again - whatever. Now, since nothing else was discussed I was under the impression that he understood it was just a ride from practice home with a drop off. I saw him for a second in the parking lot at football yesterday - we were passing in our cars - I rolled down the window and told him that s13 was in the locker room and would be out in a few minutes and then I had to move before the other cars ran me down!!

I made sure to leave the meeting with plenty of time to get home and pick up s13 for karate. I called s13 to tell him to meet me outside but he didn't answer. I called my mom then and she said that he and his dad were in his room. His dad? Excuse me? Why was he in my house? He was just supposed to drop s13 off as far as I was concerned. He apparently thought that picking him up included staying with him between activities, helping him do the dishes and put them away, getting him to clean his room with much barking from STBX at him, trying to trim the dog's nails, and then taking s13 to karate. WTF????

I will admit, I was not specific in what he was to do with him when he picked him up. I was fine with him taking him to karate as it gave me time for exercise and to make some dinner but I was not fine with him just coming in and making like this is still his home. He didn't take anything or do anything that could be construed as being "over the line" with regards to our son or the house. It just aggravates me that he would come in and do all of these things without my permission. I don't want him to get defensive by telling him he is not welcome in the house but I need to have a boundary here.

How do I approach this?

Sorry this is so long but I was thinking you might need everything that transpired so that you can tell me where I need to communicate my plans better and what I might want to let slide.

Thanks!!!!