I think initially they do "love" the other person. I am not sure it is the real thing though.
Think back to the beginning of your R, when love was new, and there was excitement, butterflies in the stomach. That is more physical attraction, but I think a lot of people equate that with love. As time goes on, that fades and real life takes over. We get comfortable, complacent, and then all of a sudden someone new (or old) comes along, and we feel that spark of attraction. If we have not learned that is not love, but lust, then an affair can ensue.
But...after a while the newness wears off, and all of a sudden you find yourself stuck in the same place as you were before. Comfortable, complacent, or possibly worse. And your W will start to wonder WTF did I do? Nothing has changed, and I love my H for this guy? What was I thinking?
It takes time, though. It is not an overnight fix. I have been doing this for almost a year now. Sometimes its quick, sometimes its not. Mostly, though, the work you do will be about finding yourself, and being the best you can be so that when your W does "see the light" she will find you irresistable. But be prepared for the long haul, because that may be what it takes.
(((Bad)))
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
