Well Lovely, (is it okay if I call you that? We have been posting on each others threads for so long that LO seems so impersonal)
I have been getting my head around being legally single. I can honestly say that it is a scarey feeling. I need to just keep doing stuff for me and the boys and not let myself get too wrapped up in a pity party over the whole thing. The key for me is keeping a positive attitude.
At church today the sermon was about when Jesus calmed the storm while out on the lake with the disciples. The preacher likened the storm to our lives and that God has the power to calm the storms, we just have to trust Him and trust His plan for us. I have a tendancy to question why I am going through this and why God would do this to me. I believe that he has a plan for me to be great. I just have to trust him and let him lead me......
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
I have a tendancy to question why I am going through this and why God would do this to me.
MC, I am sure you know this already, but here it is anyway. What happened to your M was not in God's plans, but despite them. He has given each of us free will, and unfortunately much of the ill that happens in our world is due entirely to the evil that His children do to others and to themselves in exercising that free will.
Your W walked away not because she was listening to God, but because she was not listening to Him.
Yes, I believe God has great plans for you too. If we continue to pray and listen to the Lord, He is able to turn the sinful actions of Mankind into good. Perhaps now He can mold you and the lives of your children for a greater purpose.
you sound really strong and I hope you see that you have gone through a trial by fire and become a better person. We suffer because of other peoples' bad choices, not brought on by God, but by other's doing. However, I am fully confident that He will bring out a much better life for each of us out of the ashes of the old one, He promised He'll replenish what was lost 10 fold, if only we believe in him and trust him and thank him already for what he can and is capable of doing for us. Your very first post is awesome, I hope many here take your advice.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Well Lovely, (is it okay if I call you that? We have been posting on each others threads for so long that LO seems so impersonal)
Sure... if it's ok to call you Baby or Honey or Sugar.. We'll all be waitng patiently to hear the dirt now that you're "legally single".
Seriously, I need to hear sermons like that again.. I guess I need to go back to church... actually, find a new church since I can't (don't want to) go back to the old one..
I guess I do come off as preachy. I really don't intend to hold myself up in the way that might imply. Honestly, I am just another fallible sinner, like everyone here. But I now know how important it is to look not to the world for solutions but to the Lord.
I have been where you might be right now. For a long time I was disillusioned with my church due to the behavior of its organizational hierarchy. You have even more reason given the betrayal by your H and his station in your place of worship, not to mention the abject cowardice of the clergy and congregation, for despairing of religion. But I hope for your sake that is not the case, nor does it become the case, that you turn that against the Lord.
I know it is natural to be cynical about God and Religion in light of how badly even the shepherds muck up their job. I was there too. But I have come to realize that those aspects of Religion which deserve scorn happen not because of God, but (again) despite Him.
If I have judged your words wrong, please forgive me. (I want to be wrong in this case.)
For a long time I was disillusioned with my church due to the behavior of its organizational hierarchy. You have even more reason given the betrayal by your H and his station in your place of worship, not to mention the abject cowardice of the clergy and congregation, for despairing of religion. But I hope for your sake that is not the case, nor does it become the case, that you turn that against the Lord.
It does make me very angry that stbx was "allowed" to commit adultery but, it certainly doesn't turn me against the Lord. I just needed a breather and to summons the courage to go to another church by myself...
Because inquiring minds want to know.....since the D has been finalized.....
-I sold my concession business that I had, it was supposed to be a family thing and it was too much hassle to do alone. -I finally got the sprinkler system that I have wanted for years, CW didn't think it was necessary. I hate a brown lawn. -I painted my bedroom and most of the rest of the house.....because I can. -Sometimes for fun I do stuff just to pi$$ CW off. Nothing serious, I just like getting her goat once and a while. -I have been doing pretty well otherwise as well. I have my ups and downs, and as time goes by, there are less downs and more ups.
Sometimes there are little things that get to me, usually the first this or that. I have a really really good friend who I can talk to and they always seem to know just what to say to bring me around. Friends like that are more valuable than I ever thought.
All and all, I am doing great.....considering.
Last edited by mcojh; 08/12/0810:56 PM.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Hey buddy, I haven't forgotten you. Sounds like you are doing OK.
You did everything you could do to save your marriage -- I firmly believe that. More than that, you've grown stronger.
As for you ex, CW, she's chosen a selfish and foolish path. She's not a woman of character or substance.
I think, by the way, now that everything is finalized, you should pay a visit to your former pastor and tell him exactly what happened (all details) and tell him how disppointed you are. I'd focus on the following:
1. He never reached out to you or spoke to about your wife's affair.
2. He never sat both of you down in his office to try and help.
3. He never admonished/disciplined/excommunicated your wife for commiting adultery.
4. You are concerned for the spiritual welfare of your children in a church where, apparently, it's acceptable to commit adultery.
We'll all be waitng patiently to hear the dirt now that you're "legally single".
