Piecing (or so I want to believe)

[7 Year Itch]

Last Thread

OK, so a girl disappears for a week and her thread is locked eh?

So if you couldn't tell by my title, I'm UBER confused, but I think it's going well.

Definitely not moving to piecing any time soon ,but I feel like we are making baby steps of progress. At least he is officially "trying" some things now. Although he is very clear in telling me that as of now, his feelings have not changed at all, but honestly..... I sense a huge shift in him. I hope I'm not delusional, but I feel like if I can just hang in, we may just come out the other side. In four months it's the first time I've really felt that maybe, just maybe this nightmare could end.

NOt soon enough for me, but I'll wait I supposed.

So, I was out of town Thurs-Sun (hence my absence here). He stayed here at the house with the girls while I was gone. I think he really enjoyed being home. Then this week, he is off work (had a vacation week scheduled forever ago) so he said he'd watch the girls while I worked this week rather than them go to day care, so he's been here all week. It's been amazing. I came home yesterday to a cooked dinner. Then got invited to go out with him and D6 to watch them shoot their bows. Then tonight I came home to about 2 acres of our land mowed (I've been doing it all this summer alone), the front yard mowed, D6's school supplies shopped for. Really, it felt like for the first time in 4 months my partner was in the game with me.

Amazing how the same things I took so for granted before, mean the world now.

He's housesitting this week for friends out of town again, so he's been driving a ton to check on their dogs and cat and be here. I jokingly told him I wished he wasn't house sitting so he could've just been here for the week. He acted like if it weren't for the animals he probably would've just done that.

But of course, as these WAS's are, he will then in the same breath discuss wanting to look for an apartment etc......

But NO D discussion now for about 5 weeks. I think that is HUGE! He's affectionate (although still very reserved, but it's there).

He also FINALLY agreed to go on a date with me. I've been asking to start dating again for weeks, to try to build back up from the beginning again. He has always said "I don't see what that will do". Well this week ,he finally said, he'd go on one date with me, and we could see after that.

WOW! Pinch me. We have a LLLLLLLloooooooooooooong way to go, but I'm feeling positive again.

So what does one do on an all important ONE date. One that could make or break having more dates in the future?

So then, our D2 has her surgery on Thursday (I'm a basket case over this surgery). I think we will stay at the hospital together that night. Our D6 will be at a friends over night. So that extends our week together too. I told H that I had a ton to do to get D6 ready for her 1st day of school on Monday, but that I did NOT want to drag D2 around all weekend after just having surgery, so he pretty much said he plans to be here daily through the weekend.

I'm already dreading next week though. It's been so amazing having him here. Feeling almost normal. Then next week, it'll go back We keep trying to reiterate to D6 that this is just because H is off this week, and watching them while I work etc. And that Daddy is NOT home etc. But we still worry they will be confused. I hope not.

It's so hard to want to be with him so much, and yet need to protect them from the confusion too.

Anyway. I have many threads of yours all to catch up on. I've been WAY out of the loop, and probably will be after Thursday for another few days again.

Please pray for my D2 that she will come through this surgery like a champ if you are the praying kind. It's really freaking me out. And that the lump turns out to be nothing. Please!!!

Thanks guys. Talk to you soon.
Keep the faith. It's all that's gotten me through.

Chris