Reason to Believe on the Lake Erie Shore

[smartcookie]

Are you up for a few 2x4's ? loving ones ? ones that are intended to help you through the same land mine I walked through a year ago. Step where I've stepped.

<<not to defend myself, but i'm going to anyways...

You don't have to defend yourself. To us or her.

<<i already was going to back off and do my thing. She spoke to me loud and clear about that.

You were going to back off because she spoke to you about it ??? What about what you want ?? Where are YOU in this ? I can't find YOU.

<<I actually noticed last week how i was pressuring her...and i decided then to back off.

Did she tell you or did you assume ? FG told me once that my wrong assumptions were part of the reason that I was here.

<<<I did call her "babe" by mistake yesterday....and said sorry. She responded by saying that's ok i know you didn't mean it. i said, yeah true, but you are a babe......

She told you what YOU meant, & you caved, & then agreed with her. You meant it, you just slipped. A play on words, maybe, but that's how therapy works.

<<i guess i interpreted detaching is doing what i want to do.

Detaching is defined as removing an association or union with something. Detaching is when your mind is not obsessed with your sitch. De-taching is when you realize you're just living your life, instead of wondering how you're going to live your life.

She is not going to want you until she thinks she can't have you.

<<<i have no clue how to do this. honestly. without starting to go out with someone else......which i don't want to do. ya know? any insight...outside of detaching, of course...

Pretend you are dating someone else, that you have agreed to be monogamous with & that you care very much about. When W is around, think about this "pretend" woman, don't do anything with W that you wouldn't do in front of "pretend" woman. Make sense ? Act AS IF !


hugs hugs hugs (extra hugs to make up for the 2x4's)