Neil, H & I just talked about this the other night. He was dependent on me for everything. I needed his approval to feel like I mattered, like I had worth.

The whole "You Complete Me" line is the biggest bunch of crap ever. No one can complete us. Because if they do, then anytime they move away, die, leave or don't want us, then we are "incomplete". But it's so romantic in songs & movies that people want to think that's true love. It's not. It's unhealthy bullshit.

Healthy is me being okay when H is out of town, busy with work, or just watching TV in the other room. Healthy is me being okay doing school, playing the piano, taking a bath, doing what I want. Healthy is knowing that no matter what H decides tomorrow, next week, next month, next year...I'll be just fine. I may not like it. I may wish it was different. But I'll be fine.

Write up some 3x5 cards with healthy positive affirmations on them. Put one a week on your steering wheel or in your car where you see it constantly.

Suggestions;

I will be okay no matter what happens in my M

I will take care of me, I don't NEED anyone to take care of me

It is nice to be able to depend on someone, it sucks to be dependent on someone

I like myself just the way I am !

I'm good enough just because I was born !

I will get healthy

Hugs

M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.