There is a fine line between detachment and anger.
W picked up D17 from band camp and D17 called me to tell me they were going to Trader Joes to get something to make for dinner, and would I want something. Now, D17 is a teenager so I would find it unlikely she would think of calling me on her own.
She and W came to the house to cook some pizzas and eat. Why not go over 'moms house'? Whatever.
W tells me there will be enough extra if I want some and I say "thanks, that's good if there's some left".
I did a little cleanup in the kitchen, start the dishwasher, clean the pots. I don't look at W and she doesn't talk to me. It seems like I'm always cleaning up when she comes over. I think I don't want her to think I'm a bad housekeeper.
Then I went for a walk while they were cooking their pizza. On my walk I was thinking about the things that she does these days that make me angry. How I'm struggling to save us financially and she's just 'moving on' and not worrying about anything. How she has done so many things that have almost broken my spirit.
I'm releasing her from my heart.
When I came home I just can't make myself look at her. It makes me so angry. I'm sure she senses it.
She on the other hand comes off as nonchalant. When she and D17 left W said 'bye' in a 'nice' tone.
Like I said, it's hard to separate the detachment from the anger / hurt. I 'get' that she doesn't care any more. I have to get through the anger before I can finish with the healing.
