Had our last appt with mediator before we can file. We were actually going to walk to the courthouse today but ran out of time (both called into work early). We will file the paperwork within a week. Then probably 6 weeks til its final. Looks like I'll be on the market by October.
This is hitting me, but not in a horrible way. In a sad, resigned way. H and I had a weird talk in the car, comments back and forth, a few tears from both of us. He might be sad, but he isn't turning around. I think he has crazy expectations about our R post D (best of friends, basically dating). I told him he cannot be my 'everything' after D, nor can I be his.
I am kind of a shell today, walking around with the world going on around me. I am actually lucky to be in a 13 hour day at work, because I would rather be a shell at work than at home.
Babies start school tomorrow (D4 tomorrow, D6 Thursday). I have a 'quality time' date with D6 tomorrow morning. Going to pour myself into the kids, remind myself how lucky I am to have them. And how lucky I am that my H will remain a wonderful father, and seems that he will continue to care about me as well. I am very blessed we are basically at peace.
