"Ok, here are my thoughts/opinions/conjecture on this "how to ask a man..." business. I don't think it's a formula."
I do. I think everything has a formula to it.
"To be honest, I think that this has nothing to do with a lack of communication; I think people communicate freakishly well no matter how accidental it is."
Communication has everything to do with it. See.. we don't understand.. when we are communicating "freakishly".
"Our perception tends to filter out that which makes us anxious;"
And it makes it more apparent.
"people avoid being aware of sending out negative message just as people avoid being aware of what those negative messages mean."
And it makes it more apparent.
This is what Christa will do.. when her husband calls.. or shows up.
"The responsibility lies on us as individuals to be more self-reflective and more self-aware; to see these patterns"
I agree.
"So, all that to say, until a man truly understands himself and why he acts in certain ways, nothing you do will be satisfying."
Especially if you think.. he is already not satisfied.
"You will either continue to act rigidly for reasons that are unknown to you and be bitter that you are not getting results. Or you will violate yourself and change all in an effort to make your man do what you want because you NEED this to be so for YOUR functioning."
I agree! 110% Amen.
"but out of love and self-sacrifice you are willing to be flexible because you WANT to connect with your man."
He may not respond. Are you OK with that?
"One path leads to the freedom to connect with your man and the other leads to your enslavement to your man, his emotional state, and responses."
K. Even though.. it has some.. harsh words.. I agree.
"I still wonder if he is reacting to the "fear" he sees in you reacting from his anger."
"and I think it takes some men a very long time to get over being angry from that"
Sandi2.. please understand.. I love who you are. I appreciate.. who you are. What I am about to say.. is not meant to hurt you in any way.
I was over anything Sandi2 said to me... along time ago. I was waiting on her. I was over it the second I wrote out my response to her.. way back.
Please Sandi2.. do not take this the wrong way. I am glad you are here.. I need you here.. It is a example of how things can linger.. when two people.. just don't get each other.
"compliment his abilities, his craftsmanship, his going out of his way for you. recognize he may have had other plans for his day, but gave that time to you."
You could use this in your texting. You gotta read the fine print.
So.. Christa is telling me she wants to step it up some. The texting was a start for me.. just to get H to respond. Well we have two responses from the texting so far. The first led to "Pool Gate".. which we are dropping. The second response.. led to a "Whats Up".
I want to see her push the "envelope" a bit. I really want to see what he has to say.
Ideas to push the "envelope".. would be appreciated.
At the same time ideas for making Christa.. prepared for his "anger".. would be appreciated.
Cell pictures.. of her.. at "their" bar.. generated a response.
I have lots of ideas.. I just want to see.. if any of us agree.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
