Count me as on board with any who have told you that your biggest problem right now is that you are still finding your emotional state from your wife.
This is why DB'ing is hard.
We've spent years getting comfortable with spending our life with our spouse. We actually have begun to get to the point where much of who we are is defined by our relationship with them. In what seems to be a single, sudden blow, that tie is severed by our spouse's choice.
We come here and are told that we need to stop defining ourselves in terms of our spouse.
Ouch.
You asked, "What is/are my 'Reasons to Believe'?"
The answers you expected were things that your wife has said or done that in our eyes should give you HOPE that there will eventually be a change in her heart back towards you.
I think the only really good "Reason to Believe" is because you KNOW that you are the better man in her life for now and forever.
The WAW's who have visited your thread have given you invaluable advice in understanding what your wife might be thinking and how she might be perceiving your words and actions to her. You should re-read those words and try your best to truly digest them.
My cliff's notes version says this:
You've tried to reach your wife by compliments and acts of love - but your wife is reading those as pressure.
Becoming your wife's best friend? I think that's an awesome approach. But this is not elementary school Neil. Back then we could simply declare that we were best friends with someone.
You have to BECOME her best friend.
BECOME means that it's a process. It starts slowly, proceeds slowly, and is ultimately consumated slowly.
My male best friend did not become so overnight. It was years spent together, finding that we just kind of connected, shared lots of similar interests, and that we had gotten to know each other and our families well enough that we had a vested interest in each others well being.
You have to build this with your wife. The good news is that your years together have provided some of this already.
Think about it.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
