We do care, h4h. You wouldn't believe how many times you come into my mind during the day. I think, "Oh, I have to make sure to say that to h4h", or "Oh, that might help h4h", etc. as thoughts come into my head.
I'm sorry you feel so beaten. We all feel so bad for your pain. You don't deserve this one bit.
Your fears. You are able to label them. That is what is important. You know they are things you can work on, one at a time, and slowly.
You said you were feeling strong. Keep that feeling, but just don't add a new relationship. Feel strong for you by yourself and create a strong family.
I need to say this, too. Our society is a "throw away" society and that includes marriage. Most people give up and move on so quickly with everything they do. These people encouraging you to move on want to see you happy, but they are not pro-marriage people. Do the people at your church encourage you to go out with other women?
your W knows you are taking this bad because she knows she is your everything. Be strong and detach politely. Do not rescue her. I keep remembering the times you were short with her and she knew you were mad. She was so much nicer to you and trying to engage you in conversation. She wants you to make this all nice and easy for her. Don't!
Hang in there. We all are supporting you and your goal. We can't change your W's mind, but you will want to have done everything possible. Don't forget the retro stuff. Needs to be given soon.
