H has golf league tonight and I have to go pick up copies of films to take with me for an MRI tomorrow night. Routine checkup. Part of my post BC life now.
H was working about two buildings away today and excavating out the ashpalt. I was able to go over and have a very brief lunch with him.... I think he sat down for about all of 10 minutes before he went back to work.
Oh well. He did introduce me to all of the guys as his wife and he gave me a small kiss as he went back to work. I need to focus on the small positive steps and not the negative. It was his invitation too.
I'm sure he felt guilty because the owner of the company went to the excavator and started moving dirt so that H could sit and eat with me. H also has to leave early for golf today, so I'm sure that added to his guilt.
Tonight I will thank him for taking the time that he could to sit down with me and for introducing me to his coworkers.
But I can be honest with you guys and admit that I felt a tiny bit hurt that he didn't stay more than 10 minutes. I feel old resentment about his lunch this spring with the EA down here at her campus. I feel a touch of sadness that as his wife I haven't been able to enjoy the attention from him that I really crave.
Ok, that's it. I won't bring up any of that to him. I know that it is self defeating and considering the headway that we have made and the nice weekend we are looking forward to I would rather bite my tongue out than mention it to him.
But I can confess it here
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
