OK Lost, so you are back at square one basically, but she is slightly more playful. That really doesn't mean much though, I hate to be a downer. She probably was feeling guilty and worrying that you were about to drop a bomb or something and that is why the sex came about. I know that is so hard to hear because that is exactly the kind of sex you don't want. But...you are going to have to get yourself prepared to be able to stand your ground and get your own needs met. I don't mean by cheating, I mean by refusing to accept "pity sex" or any other type of sex other than full on happy participation sex. And that means, it happens more than once every 6 months!
It is a good sign that you don't have an awkward transition after sex, but still, don't let that fool you into being complacent about it again.
So...you are still at the same place...you need to get a letter composed, get the courage rounded up, make a date, send the kids away for a weekend (or at least over night, if at all possible), tell her "we have to discuss something very important", and then drop the bomb (letter) and see what happens. You just have to wait until you are truly ready to leave without her committment. I know it is so hard to get to that point (read Cinco's thread, he is only just now getting there) but really, if I had to do my whole sitch over again with my marriage, I would have faced that fear so much sooner, so that we could SOONER either get it fixed or get moved on. The longer you wait, even while you are telling yourself "its for the kids" or whatever, but the longer you wait the worse it will all hurt.
I hope that at a minimum your anger has subsided due to getting some sex? So that you can have a more clear, calm discussion when the time comes?
