Hey girl, I wanted to check in on you and say hello. It sounds like you have been doing some mega reflection and learning so much! I am really sad to hear about H's email about the horse. It sounds like what he is describing with the horse is not love, but limerance? Have you come across this in your reading? LIke OD said, that kind of chemistry will not last.
I also struggle with other people's suggestions to flirt more. Lisa suggested I start occaisionally stroking my cleavage
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What that means is that H would need to do a LOT of work on his own--something he keeps saying he knows he needs to do, but hasn't.
I am also wondering... have you read "passionate marriage"?? There is this super powerful concept that if you start to differentiate (grow in your abilities to self-soothe, self-confront, and self-validate) you basically FORCE your partner to do the same thing. This is coming from a non-separated context but I wonder if it also works when you are separated.
So in this case, the growth you are doing can trigger growth in your H because he cannot rely on you anymore to soothe, confront, and validate him... he has to do it for himself. I am probably oversimplifying this completely but I would love to hear what you think of this book... it really is the best R book I have read thus far and I would love to incorporate its concepts into our community on the board....
It sounds like what he is describing with the horse is not love, but limerance? Have you come across this in your reading? LIke OD said, that kind of chemistry will not last. 
