Yes, I'm sure they got married. I haven't checked for the marriage license but I check the place they got married & saw their names on July 20th at 9am til 11am. Plus my SIL told me his brother went out for the wedding.
I do feel like this was rushed & I'm not sure if she rushed it or what. I feel like she is very insecure b/c of the emails to me thanking me for my H. He also took pictures of he & I together when he was here in April. Glamour shots of me, pictures of he & I on the beach in our swim suits. So, I don't know. In April he told my SIL if he talked about getting married again to shoot him. So I don't think this was really planned. Plus he was supposed to go to his high school reunion that weekend & that was the only time she could get that place reserved. Well, I looked on their calendar & there were plenty other times. I do feel like she had manipulated him into the marriage & I feel that she is insecure about me. She has done this so many times already that I'm sure she knows what is going on & how to do this. Not that it would do any good but I would love to talk to one of her x's.
I know in the back of my mind I still want him back, the man I married not the man he is right now. But I also know that man is in there somewhere. He may never be that man again, I just don't know. He is an insecure person & if she doesn't give him the attention he needs or wants there will be problems.
I'm trying not to think about it but I still can't see my life without him. But I'm working on it. It's not working right now!!! I didn't sleep well last night, at 5am this morning I had a melt down but then I got the bible & read Ps 66:20 "Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me." That helped me b/c right now I keep thinking why is God letting me hurt so bad! I know He is here for me. I still continue to pray for my H. I'm trying to detach but again, I can't imagine never seeing him again. I've asked for forgiveness for my role in our marriage, maybe I didn't give him enough attention, maybe I did give the dogs too much or my parents. I wasn't working full time but he never let me know he wanted me to go back full time.
I'm so glad you all are here for me. I'm so happy for your success in your marriage. I keep hoping one day it will happen to me, that I'm not real sure right now. But I can't dwell on it I know I have to keep thinking & acting as if he is really not coming back but somehow that is hard to do right now.
this might be hard to take because we all have done this in the beginning and that was to blame ow for everything. your h was just as much to blame for this as she was. they did get married which takes two people.
i think what you need to do is stop questioning the why's and what if's, what could have been, what would have been, etc.
also, it is times like these where people have to learn to be independent. go out and start doing things for yourself, go somewhere, buy something nice for yourself, get out there and surround yourself with people and friends.
this is now a time for you. don't dwell on what they are doing or have done. it will not change anything except make you feel worse.
until you get past this, you will not be able to proceed as well as you would have liked.
you can do this.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Nlt, I am hoping that you get that job. It would really help you keep busy and not think so much about H. This has all happened so fast for you - one bomb after another and another. Most people have some time to get through each phase but you've had no time to get over the shock of each bomb. Within 1 year your H met OW, moved in with her, D you and married her. You are handling this sitch as best as anyone could. Please try to get some help dealing with all this. Anyone in your sitch would need assistance.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thank you so much!! Yes, I'm not blaming the OW 100%, I know if she had not pursued him this would not have happened but he is to blame for letting her & doing all of this as well.
It has been a whirlwind, everything happening so fast!!
I'm working on trying to get past it. I still pray for him!!
Hi nlt, Thanks for posting to me. I do feel better again and I hope that you are keeping busy as well in order to get different thoughts.
I wanted to mention some time ago that my H also almost always only contacted me if he wanted something. And even now most of the time he still does the same. Only after I stayed with him he wrote to me about his trip, but usually he wants something from me.
