I'm back after a long absence

[123snap]

last night we had a couple deep conversations. He said he is still so angry about the past. I told him that I have to work hard to not look back and get angry and I choose that because that is not how I feel. That I choose to be happy, he stated at some point it isn't that easy. You know there was a time when friend was telling me to choose to be happy and I was feeling the same way, I didn't think it was that easy, and while it isn't easy, it is possible to choose what you think about and dwell on and slowly the other stuff takes on a different meaning, it is not as important. I don't know do I tell him about my experience or let him learn it himself, what if he doesn't learn that, I guess, again I cannot control him, but should I tell him my experience? Maybe I will wait a while. Perhaps in counseling it will come up how I am dealing with stuff and then I can slip that in.

Still haven't heard about recommendations from my counselor, H asked last night. I was glad to be able to tell him I called and left a message.

He seems to go in cycles and a lot of it comes after a contact with OW. He said he learned that he can't do that, and he respected my asking him not to do that again.

I had a soccer game and did a lot of thinking on the way there and back. When I got home I again apologized for having hurt him in the past and told him I am doing my darned to never do that again, I said I would promise him it would never happen again, except I am human and I make mistakes.

I asked him why he wanted to go to couples counseling and he said because he wants to work on stuff, not because he thinks things are worse, that I will take that as a good sign.

Overall I know there is a lot of good, and I need to be patient and keep on, I need to continue to focus on myself and show that I am a different person, and I really am, I have worked hard to be here, and I have grown tremendously. I guess the work never really ends does it.