Hi to all of my old friends. I have been lurking and I have wanted to post for a long time. I do notice a lot of new names on here and it breaks my heart but so many good people giving support and advice.
Nothing really new in my stitch since the last time I posted. I am still married. We put our rental property on the market and the tenant moved out right away. The extra money I have had to pay for the mortgage has been very difficult. I can't wait until the house sells.
Communication between h and I has not been really great. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't see much of him. Anyway I emailed him and told him we needed to meet. To my surprise he agreed right away without even asking me why. I told him I could not afford the extra money. I even had whole thing written out about how I had been very easy with child support payments and therefore, he technically owed me but he was very understanding and said he would see what he could do. He is covering it for August. I cleared up some other issues.
Finally I asked him why he did not just get the legal stuff done. There is nothing left after the townhouse sells. He said he would when it sold. It seemed so strange, so business like.
He then started talking about other things like the ds and his new motorcycle. He even asked me about school and work. He also asked about my dad. He even referred to him as dad. Habit I guess.
At this point it does not seem he is even in mlc. But I could not say whether he is happy or not.
Other than my recent money issues I have been doing well. I need a social life however as I work weekends.
We did just come back from camping. The highway up to our original desination had a land slide so we went somewhere else. It was okay but we go there so often. As long as the kids liked it. But I am so over setting up tents and sleeping in tents. I am ready for some luxury hotels.
We are going away this Thursday as well but then it means it is all down hill. I have to get me and my girls ready for school.
Hi Mermaid, good to get an update. You sound as though you are ready to move on. I wish you joy and happiness. I hope the house sells soon and for the price you want. This struck a cord with me and I have seen it many times.
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At this point it does not seem he is even in mlc.
I think sometimes when we are in crisis mode and panic about what's happening,they react to us and its good to have a label for why they are doing these things. I do believe people have a rethink and change of direction for what is perceived as no good reason. I do believe in MLC but just get the feeling is is used way too often.
From reading many posts it becomes clearer (when you are years past your own drama) it is easier to see both sides and sometimes they just want out.
Yes all the newcomers is really sad. I came back and seem to have stayed too long. I get caught up sometimes in sheer disbelief about how some people live their lives.
Anyhow good luck to you, school preparations makes me sad in away 'cos here it signals summer is over, we maybe lucky and get an indian summer tho-lol I live in hope.
I'm glad to hear that things have been falling into place for you, and also hope that your property will sell soon and at a price you are happy with.
I know the feeling. Wondering if it is/was MLC or not. But I also think that we tend to forget all the little things that point to something different than 'just wanting out'. The things that are radically different than the norm for mature, levelheaded adults.
I try not to over think my own situation, although there are times when it's very difficult to do so..even this late into the game. But the letting go has become increasingly easier. I'm going to be one of the ones that doesn't give up hope, but continues on with my own life, looking every once in awhile at what is going on. Having children together binds us whether one of us is happy about that or not. I have concern about his safety and health, but prayers are the only way I can express the love that still remains inside.
There has been no contact in almost the two years since the D. I hear snippets and a rare sighting now and then. I don't know all of what is happening and that's okay with me. I'm working on myself and finding my own self, which has been a good by product of this whole thing.
Social life?? What is a social life?? LOL I'm right there with you. My job does NOT equate with a social life. Weekends, nights, days...I tend to be scheduled all over the place. Definitely does not equate with having a healthy social life. But it is a job, which is much more fortunate than some people are dealing with, so I won't complain much.
I hope Mermaid that you'll stay in touch. It's so wonderful to hear from you and from others that were 'starting out' about the same time as myself. Its a relief to know that you are doing very well and taking care of yourself.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
Thanks for the post and update. So nice to hear from you.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Mermaid, It was a pleasant surprise to come here today and see a thread created by you. I'm sorry things have been a bit tight w/money this summer, but once the rental property sells, it should be much better for you and the girls. I'm very sorry to see that your h is still on the divorce trail. I do find it very interesting as to how he's waiting for it to see in complete the divorce papers. Mermaid, I don't know about the housing market in your area, but in mine, houses aren't moving. This house could be on the market for quite some time. Maybe he's hoping it won't sell for a while?
Any way, school is about to start and I know you are getting ready for it. Your life if full of errands, work and family right now. That so called "social" life will come in time.
Please keep in touch and hugs to the girls.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Mermaid, Yay!!!! I wore heels when I was in Florida and I didn't twist my ankle or break any bones. I also walked quite slowly and prayed alot to myself!!! Still waiting for our date. ((((hugs))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Well whether it is mlc or not, sometimes they just get stuck or they don't know any other way. I sort of get the feeling that h is floating through life. Trying different things out to make him happy. I am not sure that anything is working. I don't think these mlcers or WAS bargain for what they get. They smell freedom and don't realize it is not what it is cracked up to be.
Snodderly, the housing market is actually very good here. About two years ago if a house was put on the market then it would sell for above the asking price. Although we don't have that kind of craze now, it is still fairly strong. Having said that however, there are no guarantees. I did find it interesting also that he found another reason to put it off. It makes no sense for him not to just do it now and then it may coincide with the sale of the house. I am sure he has used excuses like this over the last 2 1/2 years with ow.
BND, I was thinking about you just recently because I am planning a trip to Europe in two years and I thought of chocolate, wine and of course shoes.
I am proud of you for walking in those high heels. I have been practicing but I am not very graceful. Maybe I should pray.
I was just looking at airfares to NY. Lots of good deals. It is very tempting.
It's nice having the distinction of being your first poster. I have been thinking of you also. There are some really great deals on cruises to Alaska. My ds really want to take a cruise. I think it will have to wait though. I am saving for a European vacation in two years. We are having a family renunion and hopefully my cousin's wedding.
I am afraid the real socializing will have to wait until after school is done and I can give up my glamorous job in retail.
Oh I think I missed Jack's bday this year. I do think I remember when yours is because I think it is the same as my neice. Mine is today. (well right now in our time zone it is tommorrow).
