Since W chose to reconcile you have every right to tell her how you feel about sleeping in D7's bed instead of in the same bed as W. She may fly off the handle but chances are she won't if you do it in a non-threatening way and give her a chance to reflect. But I dunno John what its like to be in your shoes I'd have probably blown it by now.
What I want, need, crave, i am not getting right now. Actually, I think things are not improving. Tonight we are alone at home and I will sleep in D7's room to show W that I do not intend to pressure her. It could be a mistake but I am not going to beg. Who knows she may just realize that I am not as interested as she thinks.....then again this could backfire...we'll see.
I was reading back on you last few post for some pointers for you. A couple of thing stood out.
Lower expectation, I think you know lower expectations leads to less disappointment. Also looking for signs the the old W is back, well if you have got this far, the old W and the old John should be gone. You've both been through a lot and yo're both different people now. I would say you have to get back to taking it one day at a time.
On the sleeping arrangements and how you intend to react tonight, if I was to react that way in my sitch that would be me going back to my old behaviours. "I gonna sleep on my own to show her...." I have found when I do things like this it normally back fires. I would suggest a nice cosy evening, (nothing over the top) if you and W the go to bed together all well and good. If you sleep separately then it's just one of those things. But I think you and your W will need to address this if it is bothering you.
John, I am finding it all to be a long and slow process and nothing can be taken for granted. I sure that's the same for you.
Special K...thanks for dropping by during your holidays. Lan my man....one day at a time is what I have been trying to do for a while. I am just not sure we are in piecing anymore...... My expectations are low...sleeping in my own bed with my wife...I am not even talking about sex. How low can I go. So last night I slept in D7's room. This morning I woke up chipper and my W had a big smile on her face....or maybe that was relief that I did not come on to her.....whatever. What is bothering me is that I am very very low on the list of priorities and I am beginning to think that she thinks that she is too good for me.....maybe she is..... D7 is back and in my bed as I write this. She actually came down after I came back from running a few errands to give me a hug and to wish me goodnight. Do you think my W did the same? I did tell D7 to wish mom a good night for me....boy am I pleasant! Getting back to low on the list...W booked a business supper right in front of me earlier today...went on to explain why it was important and how nice of her (homosexual) supper date to come to dine at a restaurant close to our home. There he goes again gold old negative john ................did I mention tommorow is our wedding anniversary...i wonder if she even remembers. I actually bought her a card (one of those with no writing in it). Needless to say i need some help on what to write or even if I should give it to her. Sorry I am feeling a little down and tired tonight. The "positive attitude" remedy will not cure this I am afraid. August 13th should be an interesting day.
I actually bought her a card (one of those with no writing in it). Needless to say i need some help on what to write or even if I should give it to her.
When I am in doubt I uses google for inspiration.
Also with the card a small gift, nothing too fancy but somthing that shows that you have made an effort. Also nothing too big where you'll get hurt feelings if she doesn't show apprieciation.
Then after that I think you need to get back and create "John210 man of mystery", cos to me it seems your W has become complacent now that the two of you are back in the R.
I wished W happy anniversary before she left on he r business supper. Actually I said happy ann. supper. She was truly surprised..totally forgot. In true WAW she shifted part of the blame to me for not setting anything up. She may have a point, I could have told her but I guess I was testing her. Well at least it proved to me where her priorities are. I am not up there yet. I will need to work on it. After SMW's "you make your own happiness", I decided to pretty much chill out and really concentrate on myself. W seems a little more aware of me. So I will continue to act as if and see what happens.
