I said as we were taking the kids out to the car.."its warm out" she responded by not really....i then said "well it's warmer than it was..."
Hi Neil, I'm so glad you asked about this. My H used to do this to me constantly. It was like he played devil's advocate to every comment I made.
It's not about communication, it's about being right & being controlling. You're both right. To you it's warmer out. To her it's not. Why don't you agree with each other...because at some level you are being competitive with each other. Look at her comment...if she was a casual acquaintance, she would have agreed with you, probably.
My H used to "communicate" this way with his dad all the time. It's polite passive aggressive obstinance & it drove me nuts. I'd leave the room. So, now I don't play the game. If I make a comment, & H contradicts me, I drop it. Especially if it's something stupid like whether or not it smells like rain.
Unless it's something really important, just agree with her. Even if you do it in a neutral way, like saying "yeah, I hadn't thought about it that way".
Now I'm not talking things like disagreeing over politicians or current events. Of course H & I have different opinions on those things at times.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
