Not sure that you posted anywhere in my topics. But please explain what you mean. I'll put together a much more detailed post, but what types of things might be helpful?
We've had some hum-dinger conversations in the last 5 months. She has always handled the checking account, and I never really cared. But as I became healthier, I became more interested in knowing about our finances, since I was the guy working my rear off, supporting her, and she never let me spend any of it. So I began to look into the finances, what the heck. It lit a fuse that really hasn't stopped smoldering yet. She told me all I needed to know was that our credit rating was good, and to stay away. Why didn't I trust her? I smelled something. Bullshit, perhaps. So I started looking in earnest. I found some irregularities that were explained, but which still piss me off, and weren't right. I now get the impression she thinks that if she gives me a roll in the hay once in a while, I'll be content enough to stick around and her life will remain as it is. No ripples, uncomfortable but under control. That's not what I want. I could have had an affair already if sex was the object. It's really not. I want a friend, a lover, a mate. She's not there. And I'm tired of playing games, by her rules.
My tolerance for this has reached an end, and we're in a period of trying to be civil, friendly, working it out, although that does not foster intimacy. Love, or respect. Or sex.
And one statement that summed up a lot for me a while back, and set me in motion, was when she told me that she married me "because I was safe." I discovered she married me because I was easy to manipulate, control. I didn't have balls. So, I got angry. And I am setting a course, and starting to drive this thing now. Not sure where, but I'm stretching my legs a bit, and trying to rediscover my heart. Which somehow was lost along the way.
