Whew! I just now got home from work, a two-hour drive, and I am trying to, at the least, keep up with your thread.I have been wanting to comment on some of the things I've read on your thread over the weekend, and, in fact, I did make one comment on my thread. But I'm also torn between wanting to finish reading most of it before I do so, and so far, I've not made much leeway.
Anyway, here's what I read just now, with comments:
"Life won't always been smooth sailing, and I'm the type that when things get *really* tough, that's when I'll turn to her the most for connection. We've hit that snag before: I tend to reach out for connection and comfort, and she tends to withdraw into her protective shell."
I am very sure that I cannot add any wisdom to your already vast knowledge of your wife, but if I may speak up, then I will do so. If you have any objections to my words, please do tell, and I'll respect that.
Anyway, when I read your wife's bedroom list yesterday, that was as far as I could go, for the time being. I think I mentioned this already, although I didn't say why. Your wife and I seem to have a lot of similarities, in that we come from a similar background in our pasts. I became so emotional because I see/saw myself in her.
My first question to myself, when I read your above quoted comment was: "Has he told her these things." And my answer to myself was, "Absolutely. This guys is a relationship genius." (I took out some of my thoughts in fear of offending some of the other men on your thread -- and I'm sure there are many -- not that I believe they would necessarily be offended, but, I've been known to be a bit outspoken, which is to say that I am not always wise).
Anywhoooo, if you have hit a "snag" before, what did you do then? How did you fix it? Could it be that your wife just needs her space temporarily? Well, of course, you already know the answers to these questions, so why am I asking? I'm not sure; maybe just give you a gentle reminder, a nudge, that your wife has too much "on her plate" right now and needs to get the "other" things done before she can think/feel? Who knows. The "needy" door swings both ways, doesn't it?
Anyway, I've probably said too much already. Take care. Good night. poet
