And of course you'll have to post immediately after your camping trip. I can't wait to hear, but you seem to be so grounded that I am sure everything will be amazing!!!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
clearly he misses me and wants to rebuild something w me. it is like being married but with the feeling of dating...very odd...BUT i like it!
its amazingly normal and i think we just needed time apart. part of me wants to analyze and figure out what needs to change but there arent many things and the major things i was worried about are fix-able and do-able in terms of every day life stuff....there are always things to work out.
i just am soo happy but still guarded. its like if he said the words i want to come home i wonder if i would feel different than i do now. i m sure i would be happy but not over the top crazy. is this detachment?
weird.....
Yup, sounds like detachment to me......
Pisces, you are doing wonderful!!!! I wouldn't chnage a thing....you are being yourself and it is working....why mess it up. The only thing you need to change is time and you can't so just be patient....I don't think you will have to be patient for much longer.
Hope you had a great camping trip!!!!
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Pisces, what did you mean, should you talk about kids before reconciliation? As in, whether or not to have them? Fertility? Sorry, joining the party late, as usual. You also mentioned that moving a little farther away from folks might be good for your H. And you co-own with your bro? Could your H be feeling like he needs his own 'castle'? If so, how do you feel about moving? Instead of leaving a real estate magazine, why not plan a day of looking at places (GAL opportunity) and ask if he'd like to come along? IMO, that would show you are serious about getting a new place. Honey, you are dating your H. Enjoy the camping trip! Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Oooh, I'm all giddy just reading this! I've been gone for a week, so just catching up. How fun! Camping. What a perfect thing to do together. No interruptions. Private. One with nature. Woo Hoo. I hope you guys are having a FAB time! Can't wait to hear all about it!
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
HI everyone- first let me say that coming back and having all you ask about me is very heart warming! smooches to you all!!
SOOOOOO~ it went AMAZINGLY WELL! i could cry juts writing this out of happiness!~ but im calm
my H found such a beautiful area to camp that allows dogs too! we relaxed in the lake, swam, hiked through creeks with huge granite boulders, made a camp fire, talked for hours...star gazed...hugged a lot and got clarity on life and us.
the first day we just talked about everything other then our R- the the campfire brought out the R talk (by him) and i just listened. he addressed partying/drinking a lot and my family involvement a lot. he said it was time to grow up and stop drinking...that was a HUGE step for me to hear!
then the next day we headed home and went in the hot tub to clean up :)(no nookie this whole time FYI) and he opened up again..more and more. mostly this time about what to do. he wanted to talk about plans sort of.
moving- YES- that has to happen but we dont know when or how. wait til he can tanfer locations in april? move now and start fresh? my job- i work for my fam so he thinks i should at least lessen the hours or quit (not sure)..they are vey intense and exhausting emotionally for anyone - really. intense and he feels controlled by them in too many ways- so do I.
those were the 2 major ones...
the only weird part was when i was cooking dinner for him- i hugged him and said you know how i know dreams come true? (we talked about having dreams and goals earlier) and he said how? i said bc i have you back in my life....he said well I hope your dream comes true...i said HEY and whapped him on the butt. he said i just don’t want to fall back into our old patterns..i said i know- im scared too...but i cant see that happening. he said we need to learn how to communicate and i said there are tons of books, groups, etc...then we sort of just move don from that topic.
he left after a while and didnt stay the night- but thats ok. he said he had an amaing time...he said that a few times.
i really cant believe how much we talked about this weekend- yet at the same time just played and relaxed and got away from it all- and were just with eachother.
i am so filled up! but steady...
(((((hugs to all))))))
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I have looking forward to seeing a post from you. I am thrillled it is a happy one.
You are pretty much there!.....congratulations.
Now just be cautiously optimistic and everything will work itself out. Your H seems to really have a good grasp on what this is going to take on both sides and is taking ownership for his part.
Way to go!!!!
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
