Hi Sue, Sorry I'm coming in late here, but I agree with everything that has been said. EVERYONE has backslides - some big, some little. Time to let go of kicking yourself for it and move forward.
I really wish your H would shape up. I know you're torn, but don't lose sight of his refusal to even admit his alcohol problem. As long as that is the case, you and D4 will come in second in his life - not to another woman, but to his own weakness and addiction. You need to be strong, since he can't be.
I'm glad you had the courage to share the thoughts about the truck with us. That's very scary stuff. You're not alone - we all face that kind of darkness as we go through this. Do get yourself some meds or whatever other help you need to be OK - we all care about you very much! (((((((((many, many hugs)))))))))
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!