The Bumpy Road to Recovery #2

[Bagheera]

Hmmm...

It appears that our summer vacation, in which my wife was out of town for five weeks, myself for three weeks, and the two of us being together for only the final two weeks of travel, was more of a setback than I had hoped it would be.

I've already noted that as our two week vacation together wore on, my wife became more and more involved in the vacation, and less and less involved in maintaining some level of intimacy between us. This has continued now that we're back home, since there are now five weeks of home 'stuff' (housework, yardwork, errands, outside activities) piled up to catch up on, as well as several boxes of items (that we moved from AZ to NY) scattered around the house and waiting to be put away. She's not going to feel comfortable and 'at home' again until everything is cleaned, tidy, and well managed again.

My complaint is that my wife still treats intimacy with her husband (both emotional and physical) as a luxury item: something that she can't permit herself to indulge in unless everything else is in order. When life puts a little pressure on us, it's the first thing to be sacrificed. From my perspective, I don't see why we can't maintain a nice level of intimacy while handling all of life's 'stuff' AT THE SAME TIME! I'm willing to pitch in and do my fair share and help clear the muck, but a little Mommy-Daddy playtime during the work breaks would be nice too! It's been three weeks since our nice little reunion weekend, and I'm starting to miss the connection with her. And yes, we've had sex since then, but it hasn't been of the really close, passionate, and connecting variety. She's even starting to feel a bit 'pressured' for sex again, and it's obvious why -- she's been avoiding, and therefore doesn't feel a close emotional connection right now.

Ah well, I'm patient...I think.... She's going to have to relax and learn to keep US as a higher priority even when the muck piles up a little on us. Life won't always been smooth sailing, and I'm the type that when things get *really* tough, that's when I'll turn to her the most for connection. We've hit that snag before: I tend to reach out for connection and comfort, and she tends to withdraw into her protective shell.

-- B.