Have O/W home # and I want to call

[Creed]

As someone else said, you're assuming you know what H/OW think and feel. You assume that they have something great and soulful going.

This is what I believe. God will NEVER bless a relationship that was birthed by adultery.

So even if they have their own little Love Boat going right now, it will sink in time.

I'm sure you realize that all of us have made some contribution to the breakdown of our relationships. That's a given. The point is, we have (I'm assuming) all asked God for foregiveness and repented of those sins. And each and everyday, we have to learn to keep trying to stay on that narrow path that He wants us to stay on. We all are sinners. But through this crisis, we are able to start seeing ourselves differently than before, which gives us an opportunity to improve ourselves.

Your H is NOT improving himself. He is still in the same muck that he got himself into before. This is why you continue to pray. I truly believe that the WAS DO hear that little voice in their heads/hearts each day. What they choose to do about it...listen or play deaf..is not anything we can change. But we can pray.

As far as the 'loving' feelings coming back between H/OW. I think that's called lust/selfishness. They give each other 'permission' to not give a damn about what they're doing. They DO know it's not right, but neither of them is going to tell the other that, right? What better person to be around if you want to do wrong than another person that hopes you do wrong if it benefits them somehow.

It is a SICK relationship, not a loving , healthy one.

Only you know if you want this marriage restored or not, or if you can give it the faith, time and unconditional love it would take to happen. Because it won't happen on your timeline.

As far as her calling when your daughter is there. Don't you think that could be showing a great weakness on her part? Insecurity? Doesn't want him to be only connected to his daughter without ever thinking of her while doing so? Plus, I'm sure she knows that you don't want her calling when H and your daughter are together. Again...her actions are probably intentional. Don't play into the game she wants you too.

Now...as far as not enough sex as a reason (excuse). Do you REALLY think that all of us were under-sexed??? I doubt that very much. But it sure seems like that is the first complaint WASs use when they try to excuse their infidelity, isn't it?

Please accept what responsibility is yours, but don't take responsibility for the mistakes he's made. They make the choice between working on marriage problems or going outside the marriage. That is NOT your burden of guilt to carry.

Just try to remember that this relationship, however long it continues, will not be blessed. Don't assume happiness on their part. More than likely, they're both feeling negative things about each other that neither are expressing. Give it time to die on it's own. It surely will in time. What you do with your own life will make all the difference in your own happiness.