Bring on the Rain - Part 5

[SueS]

Thanks everyone.

I'm feeling a bit better tonight. I don't have my internet hooked up at my new place yet, so here I sit at the local library. D4 is at Grandma & Grandpa's for a few days. She's been begging me to go for a couple of days "by herself". The county fair starts there in a few days and I'm going to to out there and take her to that. I'm also going to meet up with an old friend of mine. I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but she's the one that I met back in November when we took her daughter and D4 to High School Musical on Ice. She lives an hour or two away from me here in MN, but our parents still live close by each other in SD. We've been trying to find a weekend that we both could go back to SD and see our families & each other at the same time. We finally found a weekend. It will probably be a needed weekend for me too. I usually go out to the beer gardens at the fair on Sat. night and end up running into a ton of people that I haven't seen for a while. Hopefully I'll be able to take my mind off of things for the night and no one will ask me about my H.

I asked D4 what I'll do for the next few days if I can't kiss that little cheek of hers. It's that soft spot on her cheek right by her ear that I love so much. She said, Mommy, just do this into the phone....and she made a kissing sound. So sweet. Those are the things that hold me back from anything drastic when I get so down. Oh, I love that little girl!!! I think that's another tough thing for me is watching H and D4 together. Since the day that he got so upset and called me to come home, I've noticed how he pulls himself back at any time that he starts to get aggitated with her. He's doing a lot better with her. I tried to go into my room yesterday and read while they were playing. Just to remove myself from things for a while.

Well, I better go.

Thanks again everyone. I appreciate the gentle handling and understanding. I should have known better than to expect to be judged here. I should have known better!

Have a good evening.

SueS