Bring on the Rain - Part 5

[kat727]

Now that should make you feel better. How is puppy able to give such advice? It's because he has been there. We all come out of this, just maybe in different places. hugs

kat

[LL44]

So guilty of the same 'backslide' as you Sue. Not lately, but in the past. Yes. Sara is right. Don't beat yourself up about it, you are married to your husband and have a close bond. But I agree, don't let it hurt you.

I am so proud of you sweet friend, for calling and getting the help you need. My heart breaks for you. SallyM just emailed me this morning about how my H's waffling this 'late' in the game is making her mad. So true in your H's case too. He loves you Sue, it will be hard for him to find a 'balance' with you as his ex-wife. He will become angry and you will see more of the guilt thrown at you like last week.

You are human. We are all human. Please don't get so down on yourself. If you find it harder to do activities as a family (which I am lately), then gently encourage H to take D4 on his own.

Little Sue reminder: Make a lawyer appointment.

[SueS]

Thanks everyone.

I'm feeling a bit better tonight. I don't have my internet hooked up at my new place yet, so here I sit at the local library. D4 is at Grandma & Grandpa's for a few days. She's been begging me to go for a couple of days "by herself". The county fair starts there in a few days and I'm going to to out there and take her to that. I'm also going to meet up with an old friend of mine. I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but she's the one that I met back in November when we took her daughter and D4 to High School Musical on Ice. She lives an hour or two away from me here in MN, but our parents still live close by each other in SD. We've been trying to find a weekend that we both could go back to SD and see our families & each other at the same time. We finally found a weekend. It will probably be a needed weekend for me too. I usually go out to the beer gardens at the fair on Sat. night and end up running into a ton of people that I haven't seen for a while. Hopefully I'll be able to take my mind off of things for the night and no one will ask me about my H.

I asked D4 what I'll do for the next few days if I can't kiss that little cheek of hers. It's that soft spot on her cheek right by her ear that I love so much. She said, Mommy, just do this into the phone....and she made a kissing sound. So sweet. Those are the things that hold me back from anything drastic when I get so down. Oh, I love that little girl!!! I think that's another tough thing for me is watching H and D4 together. Since the day that he got so upset and called me to come home, I've noticed how he pulls himself back at any time that he starts to get aggitated with her. He's doing a lot better with her. I tried to go into my room yesterday and read while they were playing. Just to remove myself from things for a while.

Well, I better go.

Thanks again everyone. I appreciate the gentle handling and understanding. I should have known better than to expect to be judged here. I should have known better!

Have a good evening.

SueS

[karen43]

Let me get this straight...you had sex with your H and you expect us to be forgiving???? Believe me I can totally understand it, I know if my H was wanting to I probably would too and you and your H have a way better R than we do. I'm so glad you're feeling better Sue!!! Glad you called the dr. too! You need to get the internet hooked up; can you call the cable or DSL company or something and have them come & do it??? Karen

[Rob1231]

Hi Sue, Sorry I'm coming in late here, but I agree with everything that has been said. EVERYONE has backslides - some big, some little. Time to let go of kicking yourself for it and move forward.

I really wish your H would shape up. I know you're torn, but don't lose sight of his refusal to even admit his alcohol problem. As long as that is the case, you and D4 will come in second in his life - not to another woman, but to his own weakness and addiction. You need to be strong, since he can't be.

I'm glad you had the courage to share the thoughts about the truck with us. That's very scary stuff. You're not alone - we all face that kind of darkness as we go through this. Do get yourself some meds or whatever other help you need to be OK - we all care about you very much! (((((((((many, many hugs)))))))))

[SweetRedd]

Hi Sue,

Hugggggs sweet lady. I'm glad you're feeling better tonight. Don't look back Sue.. what's done is done and most of us have been there. No judgements.. you know what you're doing. Trust yourself and continue to move forward and heal. Baby steps

I agree with Rob that you're going to have to be strong. Your H doesn't like to be alone and wasn't ready for this. I too wish he'd get his act together, but he's not there yet. I'm glad that you have family standing behind you and sharing their feelings. I has to be hard when they're disappointed and worried for you. They're going to be there for you though.. no matter what and so will your friends here. Sometimes the road to our destination isn't a straight line.. just remember to hitch yourself to a future that is happy, healthy and full of love for you and D4. Don't lose sight that you both deserve so much more than your H can give.

Sheila

[Yoyowife]

Hi Sue,

Yes, we are all human and we all backslide. I can't count the times I have backslid. Why? Because we love them. It's hard to throw away so many years and with the person that helped you create that wonderful little girl. Not much more I can say, everyone has done a good job conveying their thoughts to you. We are here for you, not to condemn you.

Hugs, Yoyo

[NoCodeBlues]

(((((((Sue)))))))

We love you, lady. And we're always here in your corner. We all make mistakes -- or else none of would be here in the first place.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on. Do this for D4. She is your priority now. Everyone else is secondary to you and her. D4 needs you and your stability since her father is still unstable and determined to enslave himself to worldly distractions. So she needs her mother even more now.

D4.

[badcompany]

Sue don't be so hard on yourself. we're one big team here, we'll always cheer you on. I feel like backslide everyday; you're allowed a slip up here and there even though our spouses are aliens, they have that certain way about them at times.....time to keep up the good fight.

[fightingirish]

((((sue))))

See we all love you silly.