Whapu, I know I've said it before, but the only way to find the peace you crave is to TAKE CARE OF YOU. You're doing the right thing in pursuing this employment opportunity...keep at it. I know you consulted with your clergyman for support awhile ago, and felt unsatisfied with the response...have you thought about looking for a new option in that regard? How about tossing around some ideas of ways you can find calm?
At the risk of sounding cliche, you've got to detach. From all of it. It's a fine line, because you are currently a husband and parent with responsibilities. But one of your biggest responsibilities is to provide a positive role model for your boys. They need your example and guidance, and an empty bucket just won't fill them up.
