Have O/W home # and I want to call

[sleeper]

Ditto.

I have OM's phone number, know where he lives, and at one point was in a very good position to mess him up at work. I've never been mean to OM but a couple of months ago I was gently scolded by X for not being "more friendly" to him (wtf?).

Attack OP in any way and it comes back on you.

It's like you're the superhero, OP is the supervillian and your spouse is the victim (work with me on the spouse being the victim part). OP's super power is some sort of reverse polarity sh*t that makes anything you throw their way come back on you twice as strong, hurting you instead of them. You'll have to discover your own super power. Trust me on this. You have one. Find it.