Excellent Books...a little better than the Star wars fluff.
Mike,
You are doing amazingly well. I do not know many who would have handled that as well as you have, myself included.
She sees and knows who you are, you are just reinforcing that in her mind, the one not clouded with confusion.
My wife and I talked the other night, she brought it up, I had decided that old questions that I used to need to knwo the answers to were not as important.
She mentioned F-face. (My term for OM). Brought up that it had seemed like he had supported her decicsions, at a time when no one else had, but in fact, only did that to meet his needs. She realized now and had for quite awhile just how underhanded he had been.
She talked about overwhelming confusion, never having understood anyone who could take their own life, until this happened to her, and that our boys were the only reason she didn't.
She said that she was a prisoner of her overwhelming emotions, anger and rage and despair. And for a logical person, she felt powerless to make good choices. We talked about her past and childhood that planted the seeds for this.
I said nothing bad, for the most part she derides OM, a hell of a lot more than I do even mentally at times.
I offered her my theory about the OM, in many cases. I said that what I am about to say has no sharp edged and no malice.
"You, who fixes everything, has everything in order, are unable too. OM is a broken person in this case, and while you absolutely couldn't fix yourself and it drove you crazy, you could attempt to fix him. It was something you could control, someone you could make better. Something to feel good about."
She thought long about that one, and agreed, she was actually relieved to be able to logically see that part of it.
We both agreed that everything that happened between us was worth it, that we both were amazed and cherished what we now both have.
She admitted that she occasionally has flashes of confusion, but that it is NOTHING like before, and she finds comfort now with me and the boys.
She also thanked me deeply and sincerely for the time I gave her. She said that more than anything helped her organize herself and get her to address her emotions.
Mike,
Your wife is not my wife, nor are you me, our situations are similar but different. This is what my wife said to me...but I think there might be commonalities.
Keep strong.
You are doing well.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
