Panties and tattoos...what could possibly be next?

[AliSuddenly]

Hi Jen!

I dont think its so much the mentioning of her, its the way you are in general... when he said

He told me I was a pain in the a$$ and always had been and that he was tired of putting energy into our M and that's why he left. Things calmed down and the day turned out good.

you sort of brushed it off in your post, but I was surprised at that! He is communicating plainly to you that he doesnt like some of your behaviours, thats why he left, he felt that it was too much effort, but you continue to behave in ways that remind him of why he left !? Just to a lesser degree I guess? You dont have much power in this sitch, only power to change yourself and when you say again above

XH was telling me that he feels like I'm rubbing the past 6 months in his face by mentioning the EA and the new friend and that he's tired of me trying to make him feel guilty. That I ask questions just to shove the answers at him later. He right I do that and I know it's wrong.

you are admitting to us here that you are still not making the changes?? I think you have a chance, but what would it take for you to stop being that stubborn fiery Aries girl that he struggles with and is just the passionate go getting Aries girl he obviously still loves!

He's already D you, but you still keep acting in ways that make him keep his distance. I sort of dont get that! If my ex gave me something concrete to go on .. I cant get back with you becuase you keep doing X... I'd do something about it (if it was a change I felt was justified and I needed to make). I'd go to therapy, I'd talk it through with him, I'd LISTEN to what he was telling me. I can only dream that he would give me something concrete to grasp onto, so as someone above pointed out, you have the map to know how to put it back together, but you keep butting your head against it. I think you are lucky, but you are not grabbing this gift!? Or maybe you are, but not enough, I'm not sure!

I sort of dont get why noone else on your thread has pointed that out either ! Maybe we are all so giddy that you are hanging out with him so much and ML, but its not a done deal yet!

Ali xxx