Help...I think I did a 180...I hope

[Sophie]

Was this the wrong DB thing to do?

(H has had trouble keeping up with bills since he left...he knew we couldn't afford a second house, but he counted 'money before it hatched'...and he's worked, and toiled and worked some more to keep up. H has for the most part managed, but with many a late fee, including the mortgage. H has 'managed' this way for over 2 years)

I usually freak when the electric company or med ins. calls warning to stop service. Then, I call him, freaked out...and usually, it turns to ugly.

Today, I got a message addressed to H, hopefully a junk message, from a loan company offering to help keep the house out of foreclosure.

I freaked.

I wanted to call, but I knew I would have a hard time keeping my words from... accusatory and scolding; H usually reacts like it's no big deal which prompts me to scold.

I don't want to scold...I am just afraid.

I didn't call.

but....

I tm'd after I calmed down a little.

'Sorry to have to ask...but...I'm getting strange messages...are the house, med, elec bills up to date? The word 'foreclosure' is being used.'

I wish I didn't send it...but, I did.

H hasn't, and probably won't, respond.

I just want some peace of mind. I know that's not too much to ask, but I know that anything I say about money won't be taken well.

Now...I want to text another, follow up message, to be sure he knows I'm not accusing...but, I tried to say that in the original text.

So, I'm not going to say anything more about it.

I'm not sure how foreclosures work, but wouldn't I know about it? My name is on the loan too.

I believe H works hard to maintain his space....so, to hear things about bills, upsets him. But, he has his freedom from me and the marriage. It must be worth all the hard work.

Geez...I must be horrible to live with for him to choose to stay where he is now.

Okay...I need help putting THAT into perspective, huh?

This mail was only addressed to H and sent here.