There really isn't much I can do this weekend to GAL. I have to work 10 hours tommorrow, 11 on saturday, and then 10 again Sunday. Ugh! I haven't had a day off in 6 days!
Any suggestions??? :o)
How about beautify yourself in the evenings?! It's important to do something for you especially during the pregnancy - it's a good habit to get into for when the baby comes. Or spend the time on here getting some strength.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
Thanks Lola. This just keeps getting harder and harder. I want to save my marriage more than anything in the world, but what price am I willing to pay? I just feel like I don't deserve to be in this situation and I wish he would wake up and realize what he is doing to me.
What is the book that you were going to suggest? I could use as many reading suggestions as possible.
Thanks again, Niki
The book is called The Praying Wife, and there is a workbook that goes along with it. You will need a bible as well. I recommend this book to anyone (there is The Praying Husband as well I believe) in this sitch because it just brings peace and clarity.
Your sitch is hard, I know, but remember to have faith. Unfortunately, this is a long journey. It is hard, and painful. But we all know exactly what you are going through right now, so feel free to vent and talk about your sitch as much as you need to. The beginning is the hardest. It gets easier to deal with once some of the initial rawness wears off, and it will.
((((Niki)))))
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I can utterly second the Praying Wife, it kept me completely sane during my marriage. It takes the focus off yourself to try and 'fix' your H. It's a life-changing book, it really is.
Thinking of you today Niki. Hope work was ok today.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
Today work was a little hectic so I didn't have much time to dwell on things which is good. I am actually still at work right now too just kind of closing down and doing end of the day things. In the past hour or so I've started feeling a lot of anxiety because I know that he is now in Milwaukee with the OW. I keep telling myself to calm down and that there is nothing I can do about it, but it is hard. I even tried convincing myself that him going up there would be a good thing so he could miss me and realize that this OW is nothing like hiw W back at home, but I doubt that will happen. Probably the opposite...he will fall even harder for her and push us apart even more. He texted me around 2:00 this afternoon asking about money again, I didn't respond.
So I had a long talk with my MIL last night. She told me things that H has been saying to her like the fact that he isn't thinking about the baby right now because even the DR.'s think I'll lose it (He hasn't even been to an appt. with me so I don't know where he is getting this) and also I guess when she told him that he should try MC before giving up he said "oh Niki would never agree to that so it's pointless"....um hello, I'm the one that suggested it to him. Also he told my MIL that he doesn't feel like talking to OW is wrong because I am probably out talking to other guys and that he never knows where I'm at and I refuse to tell him. I would tell him if he asked, I am not hiding anything from him. He just doesn't ask at all and it's not like I am going to call him everytime I leave the house. I thought he wanted his space? I think he is just trying to make me look bad to my MIL so his actions don't feel or look as bad as they are. I didn't get too upset though, I just laughed at what she said.
Right now I am doing good but I have a feeling that after I get home from work and get to that empty house and see that his tooth brush and over night bag are gone I am going to have a hard time. I keep trying to prepare myself for it.
Thank you for the suggestion of the book Lola. I think I am actually going to go see if I can find it tonight.
Well I guess that that is all for now. I garuntee I will be on later.
((((Everyone))))
Niki
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
Last night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I stopped at my Dad's house and hung out with him for a little while then headed hom around 10:00. By the time I got home I was so exhausted that I just crashed. It didn't even get to me that he wasn't there. I just enjoyed the quiet and went to sleep. I haven't thought about it too much today. I have been pretty busy at work though so that may be why.
I have to put in about 11 hours tomorrow too but then I have Monday off! Yay! I am finally doing something for myself now though. A friend of mine and I rented a hotel room for tomorrow night and we are going to sit by the pool and then stay up all night watching movies and eating our weight in popcorn :o) Then Monday we are going for pedi's and mani's :o) I can't wait.
Hopefully tonight will be a good night...I have no idea if he is still in Milwaukee or at home.
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
Well done you. Enjoy the quiet, enjoy the tidier house, enjoy watching whatever you want to on the tv...
Your conversation with your MIL just made me shake my head in disbelief - what is he thinking? Do you know, I think pregnancy does weird things to some men? There were very significant infidelities during all of mine (mind you, with my H's amount of cheating you'd be pushed not to find a period of my marriage when there wasn't significant infidelities!). Some men don't deal well with it at all.
Is he still away? I think you are doing so well.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
So I have a quick but very important question for everyone...
I have been reading everywhere that I need to give him his space and not talk about our M with him, but I was wondering if I should at least tell him something like "I know you are wanting out of our M right now and I'm not trying to force you into coming back but I just want you to know that I am fully committed to this M and think that it can be saved" Or something along those line? Just so he knows that I want to try so if he does have doubts in his mind he is not afraid to say he wants me back. Or is that too pushy? Should I still just back off?
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
So I have a quick but very important question for everyone...
I have been reading everywhere that I need to give him his space and not talk about our M with him, but I was wondering if I should at least tell him something like "I know you are wanting out of our M right now and I'm not trying to force you into coming back but I just want you to know that I am fully committed to this M and think that it can be saved" Or something along those lines? Just so he knows that I want to try so if he does have doubts in his mind he is not afraid to say he wants me back. Or is that too pushy? Should I still just back off?
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
So I have a quick but very important question for everyone...
I have been reading everywhere that I need to give him his space and not talk about our M with him, but I was wondering if I should at least tell him something like "I know you are wanting out of our M right now and I'm not trying to force you into coming back but I just want you to know that I am fully committed to this M and think that it can be saved" Or something along those lines? Just so he knows that I want to try so if he does have doubts in his mind he is not afraid to say he wants me back. Or is that too pushy? Should I still just back off?
M: 25, H: 29 T: 4 years M: 11 months Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 7/11/08 Found out about OW: 7/12/08 Seperated but living together
Don't say anything. He knows you are commited. One of the biggest validations is allowing him to feel the way he feels. If you tell him you are committed, that is a sure fire way that he will see you as clingy, and you will push him further away. It is hard, because we think that by telling them that, they will realize how badly we want this. But trust me, it doesn't work.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
