Certainly being perimenopausal can make one emotional and at times feel depressed..but it doesn't and shouldn't make one prone to choose being emotionally abused, disrespected and staying in an R/M that is hurtful.
I absolutely agree.... FIB~ you are the best.
And pull the rug out all you want. I have my eyes wide open....
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..continue forward working with new terrain and landscape
yes....
I know what he does is wrong. FIB.
I know I cannot allow it, piecing or not. It hurts.... And you are right the panorama is just different. I dont want him to be what he used to be or be anything just for me. He needs to respect me. Plain and simple. Nothing more nothing less. And yes even though I may have periomanopause symptoms,,, me allowing him to make me feel bad is where the feelings come from. Not my hormones. I am human and he is being an assh*le. I acnt control him but I can control me. I am going to work on myself more and stop giving him so much power. I got excellent advice yesterday... will post it in a bit.
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Are you happy? Are you in a codependent relationship? Are you/we blaming ourselves too much for THEIR decisions? What control do you have over them?
I am not very Happy. I think it goes back and forth on codependency. COG~ let me know about that. I get string and then I fall back into the trap. I am blaming myself far too much. I have no control over him
I thought alot about that this morning while running errands for our business. I have been happiset when I follow DR. Wayne Dyers' advice.
I have no ownership over him and he none over me. Something like that.
I can be the beautiful , stable happy Woman I am. I have allowed myself to try too hard and let myself die a little more everyday. I have lost what I was doing and what was working for me when we were seperated.
I was miserable and at the same time I was string as nails and I was finding me and loving being really and truly alive. Right now what kills me is I feel suffocated and stifled. I am not feeling truly like me.
Me?
I am the Woman who goes for walks, who dances/sings in the living room with her Ipod on. Who picks flowers and puts them in every room in my house. Who bakes cookies and then goes to Yoga. Who makes love like a Woman confident in herself. Who devours her mate like he is a delicious ripe nectarine. Who loves every curve God gave her even when there are one too many. Who goes to the Farmers Market on her bike , wearing gold bangles on her wrist and pink lipstick. Who enjoys life and just being alive. The Woman who reads books outside in the sun.
But I cant remember who I am much sometimes cause I give far too much.
I am tired of trying so hard. I am not going to give up. I am just going to actively find me. I love him dearly and if he really loves me he will follow and he will grow up.
If not I will have to make some real hard desicions. I get going and then I think i am somehow afriad of being me. I feel lately when he is around that I get tense and I stop being me.
Love you all and Thank for your support , God bless you all.... ~Ali
