Well, I'm not crying anyway, I cried just about all night last night. I'm still really down. But I know I have to move on. I still feel like he is supposed to come back but it doesn't look like it right now. I know I didn't imagine his love for me, in fact people always told me they could tell how much we loved each other by the way we looked at each other.
I'm not making an excuse for him b/c it was his choice but I just know he is in MLC, everything I've read in that book so far is just like him. Down to the parents roll in it. I'm sure he has re-wrote history but I'm not sure if he will remember the good times.
How could one woman have such an affect on someone like him who once had moral values & took marriage vows seriously??? And didn't like it when women ran after MM & a woman who had been married so many times. I just don't understand. He tried to talk a friend of ours out of M a woman who had been M 3 times. He said she doesn't have a good track record, it won't last. Now what has he done??? But I know he doesn't see that right now. I don't think he knew she had been M that many times until I told him in the letter I wrote.
I know I've got to start healing but I'm not exactly sure how & I don't know how to let him go.
Part of me thinks that he or she sent that email to hurt me. Why does he want to still hurt me. He knows how I am & how hurt I would be. He told me he didn't tell me about OW b/c he didn't want to hurt me & he was sorry that I found out the way I did. I loved him & he knew that, so why the hurt???
