Positive developments?

[jon2911]

Had a fantastic weekend, lots of old college friends and staying up too late. Great time playing at church on Sunday. Wondered why I didn't hear from W at all, but she was with her family wedding planning, so didn't think it odd. Sunday night I checked a voicemail from a strange number, turns out W dropped her phone in the pool. LOL. She wanted to IM, so good thing I have an iPhone

Quick synopsis of conversation:

Me: So sorry to hear about your phone, I know that's frustrating
W: I feel naked without it
W: Why do all these hurdles keep coming? When will they stop?
Me: I can help you with them
W: Thanks *teary
W: I still need you and it scares me
W: You don't have to answer that
Me: You shouldn't have to handle everything on your own
Me: I can help you get an insurance replacement
W: How did your counseling go, why was it tough?


At this point, she pulled back and went into 3 hours of bashing me. I kept trying to go to bed, and should have just called it a night. But it was still a good talk. I talked with a mutual college friend of ours (sometimes I think he knows W better than I do), and his synopsis was this:

W played the role of mom for her family when her mom abandoned her in high school. She's been ultra-responsible and grown-up since then. A year ago, she got tired of acting like an adult, because she was forced into that way too early. I think my friend is right on, and I told W that. This is why her behavior right now shocks me so much, but I know this is just a phase.

Her "I still need you and it scares me" was HUGE. But I need to handle the pull-back better next time.