Reason to Believe on the Lake Erie Shore

[1hope]

Good morning Neil,

Sounds like you had a good weekend.

I have to agree with the others that think your W is noticing the changes in you, and thus the comment about you being "hit on."

My H is doing the very same thing now. As he left for work this a.m. he made a comment about one of the guys that I work with...and I have to realize, a few weeks ago he would not have cared enough to make that comment. He would have been pushing me at him.

I agree that she is noticing the new you, and believes that you could be desirable to someone else.

Keep up the good DB work

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Neil,

Just dropped by to say:

1) LOVE the new thread name!! Before I recently changed my footer to include the link to my "Chocolateeyes" threads, for two years it was "Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe. -- Bruce Springsteen"

2) From this outside observer's perspective, you are still focusing way too much on what your wife is thinking, doing, and saying. It's been 6 months since she dropped the bomb, and two months that you've been legally separated. You still don't seem detached.

FWIW.

Puppy

Seems like I've been sleeping in your bed too long
Seems like you've been meaning to do me harm
But I'll teach my eyes to see
beyond these walls in front of me
Someday I'll walk out of here again
Someday I'll walk out of here again

[Neilh23]

PDT-
I got it from you........ i love the version he does on the magic tour...

as for detaching....yeah i know. somedays i'm better, somedays i'm not....i'm just trying to see things thru her eyes....i guess that's why i ask so many questions about her actions...it doesn't bother me the way it used to.....i'm just....curious.

thanks for your input tho....anytime you got some comments...feel free...

the funny thing...that quote you added....is from Trapped. my W's ring tone on my phone...LOL...

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yeah, sure you are ("just curious") . . . sure you are. LOL

btw, we just cross-posted, so check out the lyrics I just added to the end of my post.

Peace,

Puppy

[Neilh23]

LOL.....ok...sorta curious....i know why i'm so 'curious'...it's my behavior pattern....i don't trust the fact that what i'm really seeing is true.....that she really is insecure in her decision and that she's noticing the changes....so, i look for it here...and ask questions to help reassure myself....

i'm working on it

[Neilh23]

Curious, does your W future trip much, because the 'remember when' comment was a good sign.

goldy...thanks for posting to me...as for your question...she does more often than not. she hasn't done the remember when comment..ever....so that is a good sign...

[Neilh23]

just a thought....and a question...

what do you do if your WAW asks you to stop doing nice things for her? For example, what should i say if my W asks me not to buy her a coffee every once in awhile or to not compliment her appearance? How do i respond? Should i ask why?

yes, i know i havew too much time on my hands...LOL...last week for that....

[TwinDad]

Neil,

I think you respect their boundaries. If she is asking you to stop then she is feeling it as pressure which does not help your sitch.

If I was asked to stop the coffee, I would probably say soemthing like "That's cool, it was no big deal since I stop there most of the time anyways" then change the subject.

Of course if you feel she is uncomfortable with it, then I would stop it anyways or at least reduce the frequency for the same reasons

[Neilh23]

Twindad..that's kinda what i thought.

i get her coffee once a week when i get doughnuts for breakfast with the girls.....so it's not that frequent....i think she felt weird today because she's reestablished her boundary...

thanks...

[upside_downer]

She's spinning, Neil. The whole thing with the vet is a good sign that she still cares enough to possibly be jealous. Wish I could get some jealousy from my W

Don't forget to work on that self confidence, buddy. I still see hints of it everywhere in your posts.

Come on...you know why your W knee-jerked. You either got hit on, or she thought you did. So she responded the way she did and you KNOW why