Ready to GAL...Drop the Rope...Detach..2...

[ddstartingover]

Happy Birthday..........to me...................Today I'm 43 years old. I still don't have a life other than my H and my kids. I'm failing at detaching, I'm beginning to lose hold of the rope.

H did make a quick trip to visit his best friend. His wife has not e-mailed to let me know if there was any talk. He brought the kids back to me last night, so I could have them for my birthday. I went to the garage to feed the dogs and noticed that he took them out to buy me a birthday present. He also told D15 to take care of something before she went to bed..trying to quietly refer to something about my present. He was in a good mood...........as usual like nothing has changed except that he left for his own house last night.

I've let my mind wander more than it should. I've been thinking of the last 2+ years.........thinking of the e-mail he's written blaming our problems on everything, but the truth. Saying he just couldn't work on US, etc. Feeling pretty down and betrayed as I think of the truth. I wonder if he comes out of this and wants to return, how will I trust him again??? Do I want to trust him again?? Wish there was a sign of hope. Wish there was a magical way to see into the future.

Today I'm going to take the kids and get that YMCA membership I've been talking about for too long. With the house remodel, my treadmill and weights are in a storage trailer----so even if I were motivated to work-out, it would be pretty hard. So, my birthday present to myself (well, yet another one).

H said he would be here this morning to talk to the contractor. Still pretending like he's living here as far as the contractor is concerned. Don't know why..........There really is only one thing I want for my birthday......................