I don't know what the truth is, but I do know that she doesn't feel guilty about it. And her response "I can't date because I'm still married" is bizarre.
What is this, not dating? Just 'hanging out' with a guy who is not your husband.
I guess I needed a real kick in the nuts to get me out of limbo. I'm out. I'm angry and she is not the woman I married, she's some screwed up person.
Here I am trying to save my house, my life, my kids life and even HER's and she's hanging out and calling this 'nice guy'. And a couple hours later he's still there.
Game over. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Just going to be 'decent' to her, nothing more.
What I am about to suggest is harsh and dramatic but you need to consider all your options at this time.
You do not have to allow her to come back into the house, Frank.
That will alleviate the one thing that has concerned me about your sitch and that is that she would stir up some kind of BS and have you legally removed from your home, thereby situating herself all warm and fuzzy in the house with the girls and you out and footing the bill and probably under a restraining order.
Technically, she left and you have reason to believe she is cheating on you. At the very least, she is behaving very disrespectfully since she's right around the corner and all the neighbors are aware of this johnny come lately. At the worst, she might be trying to begin an affair. Her "I can't date because I'm still married" comment was nothing more than her trying to chap your ass into filing because she can't afford to. It wasn't a statement made with a spirit of offense because she actually thinks it would be morally WRONG to date, she made it spitefully I think, no matter which fake tone she used.
I think now is the time for you to seek legal counsel, Frank.
I agree, I am hoping her friend let's her 'rent a room'. If she doesn't, well she's not going to stay here much longer. I'll tell her that she better get out so she can spend time with her 'friend' because she ain't gonna do it here.
We don't know the neighbors at that house so it's no issue like that.
I think there is a 50% chance she's being truthful.
I'm not going to deal with her any more. Only conversations about kids or money. I've had it.
yeah, you're right. I'm actually dealing with this well. My instinct says that he's a dork, just as spiritually messed up as she is and she's just playing make believe, like they're 'just friends' so she doesn't have to feel bad about what she's doing.
But it will progress, they always do. And I won't be there any more. But she's getting her needs for companionship met now so she doesn't need me any more. She's not going to get one more thing from me. Not one.
D17 came home around 9:30 and I asked her where she'd been.
D17: BF and I walked down to moms place
me: Oh, was her friend still there?
D17: You mean Michael? I think he's gay, he sure looks like it. He wasn't there but mom told me you went down there and accused her of having him as her boyfriend.
So, I'm going to bed. I think W has this 'connection' with this guy because he's a lost soul also.
One of my DB friends still says that he doesn't think W is really 'done'. She has been through so many strange phases the past months. From parading around naked to living in 'her house' and befriending a guy who is apparently just as screwed up as she is.
She's aging and looks lost.
And the more I push her 'out' of the house, the more she resists.
I'm going to be ok. I think I passed this test from the enemy. I didn't lose my cool and I didn't ignore it. I confronted it.
Frank-- not saying shes not being truthful......just please know they always say they are just friends......so they are just friends when it is way more.....Why they say that..like you said so they dont feel bad for what they are doing becuase their mind makes you the bad guy......then this new person is a friend.....bottom line its an affair...emotional first...then comes the pa....if it goes that far...
Frank-- not saying shes not being truthful......just please know they always say they are just friends......so they are just friends when it is way more.....Why they say that..like you said so they dont feel bad for what they are doing becuase their mind makes you the bad guy......then this new person is a friend.....bottom line its an affair...emotional first...then comes the pa....if it goes that far...
Urghhh the it must be an affair line...blech.... not true.
I will reitterate what I said to you yesterday Frank.
Nothing changes for you. You continue to be yourself and be real. The last thing she said to you is she doesnt want to be married anymore. You continue on your path of self exploration and don't worry about the rest of it.
Stay firm on the separation issues and do what needs to be done.
Keep it as simple as possible.
One more thing before I go though. Don't ask your D17 if friend was there or not, it puts her in a very awkward position. Yes, your wife is an idiot for telling D17 what you did, but you should not be asking her those questions Frank.
