Here we go again...long need to vent

[water2moon]

Thanks Sara..I feel the same way..I feel like he's an addict and he's addicted to her. The only thing I am sure of is thatthe past 3 months I did NOT do everything I could to save my marriage and DB the correct way.Nearly every day I treated him like garbage and told him constantly to "go to her" and that i wanted a divorce. Of course I am not blaming myself, just shows he must not have really wanted to end it or he would have been able to. Of course they both say that there was only friendship this time around and nothing sexual..but I don't believe much anymore.We went to counselign this past wednesday so that was a big step and shows me he does want to try. But can he do it? that's another story..so I will do my best to DB and then if he does go back I can say I gave it my all and move on. Hard as that may be. H cried last week when he told me he is afraid of life without me, i'm all he's known since he was 19. So I understand that change is scary but I want him to really want me again..To love me again and get her out of his heart and mind..But I realize now it may take longer than I thought. But I need to stop playing the victim here like Michele says in her book or I will be the victim.Hope u have a great weekend Sara!