Hi Sue,

Congrats on the performance review! Thats proof that you're getting stronger every day \:\) It sounds like you and D4 are doing your best to get settled in and make the new place home together. That's wonderful!

H.. still sleeping in the car. Why am I not surprised? Please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm only able to say this from my own hindsight. Helping H find an apartment IS more caregiving from you. The only part that bothers me is that you're still rationalizing when you step in and bail him out. If you feel for him and want to help him out, then go for it.. just be aware that you're prob not only doing this for D4's benefit. Alcoholism/enabling and co-dependent behavior is a family illness. Just as it's gonna take time when/if your H decides to change, these changes take time for you too. It's gonna be awhile before you totally drop the rope with him. The important thing is, you see the need to stop rescuing him and try to break the cycle. I point this out because you know the deal.. otherwise, I'd hush about it. I believe though that you've faced the fact that your R with your H hasn't been healthy and it's time for you to change your behavior too. It's hard though, and like all change, it will come in baby steps. Stick with it. You've come SO far with letting him deal with his mess. You're not rescuing him from his A, his DUI and decision to separate. That's amazing considering the guilt trip he put on you last week. It takes a lot of strength to not give in and allow him to stay at your place and use that as an opportunity. You could cave in hopes he'd see how much he needs you, but you haven't done that. You should be very proud of how you're moving forward and remaining strong. If that means you help him look for an apt, and bail him out some on the daycare, so be it. You have to live with your decisions and as long as you move towards a healthier place for you and D4, you'll be fine.

Huggggggs to you and your beautiful daughter \:\)

Sheila