Yesterday two of my friends that I teach with went to visit another one of our coworkers whose mother had passed away. We've all been pretty busy this summer and haven't really had time to see each other.
They were asking me how things were going for me and my H. I told them that he continues to come around and then withdraw and he can't let go of OW. One of my friends told me that her brother left his wife for OW. She said they ended up getting married, but that he was far from being happy. My friend then said, "But how could they be happy? My brother seems to be very embarassed that it's not as great as he thought it would be".
Isn't it too bad that they can't figure out that even though they may think they have found the perfect person that the person will also have flaws? When you get down to it, they are even more flawed because they chose to get involved with a married person. Wouldn't it be better to try to work out your marriage then trying to find happiness with the new "wonderful soul mate" that you will soon find out isn't as perfect as they thought they were?
Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect or even always logical world.
Hang in there, we are all thinking of you.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Thank you all so much for your response. You don't know what you all mean to me! You have helped me so much.
I really haven't done anything today. I did lay out in the sun for a little while. It's not too humid so that made it nice. Although that is something H & I used to do together but I can't stop doing stuff b/c we did everything together.
BND: I love this link! Thank you for posting it.
I'm just so sad & miss him so bad. This is totally not like him & I do believe 100% he is in MLC. I'm not really angry at him b/c I have this unconditional love. I do think deep down he still loves me, I just don't think you can turn something like that off. He may never realize it tho or never let me know. I just can't believe I will never see him again, this is killing me! He is my family, this is such a nightmare!
nlt, Would you consider getting some support for your grief and loss? Like joining a grief support group? I think this might really help you work through your pain.
I think this has been worse than when he told me he wanted a D. I'm having such a hard time with this. Part of me wants to call him & talk to him b/c he used to comfort me so much when I was upset. He couldn't handle me being upset or when I cried, especially if he had done something to make me cry he would be so conforting. But, I know he wouldn't be if I called him. I don't think he realizes how much he has hurt me, I wish he could know but then he would tell OW & she would love that!
I'm having a hard time thinking I'll never see him again!
Did you go to the link BND posting on this thread? It is wonderful!!!
Hi nlt, I would like to comfort you. All I can say is that my H told me just before he stopped the D process, that he is not happier than when he left me. I assume that your H is the same. To start with my H was in love and happy and told everybody how happy he was, even my niece. Then after a while of living with OW, the R started to get cracks. After over two and a half years, he told me that they split up, but I am not so sure if it is true. However, they were never as happy as he said.
I know you would like to call your H, but it would not do any good. When I called my H and at that point he did not tell me that he was living with OW, he told me to leave him alone.
I feel for you and know what you are going through. (((HUGS)))
