BT I believe you need a woman's prespective on this. I understand shyness and did not even go out for two years at all anywhere post D outside of time with D13.
I had a thread on flirting that a poster talked about acting out a character when flirting. I prefer to have the people whom I am with take the bow and the attention since today's hero can be tomorrow's goat.
Though we like to say other's opinions do not sway us a chorus is hard to ignore. Good or bad. I also feel the depth of one's character is not tested during bad times (most rise to the occasion) but during good times when the distant sounds of caution are drowned out but the applause.
A popular financial author states he is scared when he makes too much money too fast. Not that he likes money but he realizes he is unbalanced and will soon take a fall so it's time to look at his stragety. Many people did not in early 00 and many very good surviving companies are valued less 8 1/2 years laster.
In a religious sense a favorite author stated Pain is God's Megaphone which is true but in Pleasure the message is spoken in a wisper. That is why so many of us and all leaders with bad intentions overreach.
I believe pain is a more powerful emotion than pleasure and we will feel the effects of pain than the elation of pleasure thus our reactions are measured as such.
If a child enjoys eating ice cream they will not break into each ice cream display every time they go to the supermarket but if they hate spinage you can bet the spinage shelf will be avoided.
As with all rules there are exceptions and I have seen some kids immune to pain and punishment and laugh at their dad while getting their mouth washed out with soap or spanked. Usually they end up as US Marines or in front of a Judge.
It takes a while and you probably need a friend to run interference for you in social settings who is levelheaded, similar place in life, and a good judge of character quickly.
Little geeky but I hope you catch my drift.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
