Most WAS don't tell the whole story about why they left. Also, they often have their own version (just like the LBS may have their own version). Reality is usually somewhere in the middle or off to the side. Very few people can admit, or have the clarity, to convey the reality.
So... I wouldn't waste time being too pissed about it. That's perfectly common. I would just expect it and let them have their own reality.
Your W doesn't need an intervention, she needs to live with the reality she's creating... and you need to be the most wonderful guy on earth. That's your only chance (and it's a slim one!) to calm the situation down and get her wondering if she's making the right decision. Also, it's the best way to make to make sure that even if the D goes through she eventually regrets her decision. Don't give your spouse the satisfaction of making this whole thing easier on them. The more of an angry, controlling, weak, manipulative, jerk the LBS is (and all of us have moments of deep hurt where we just want to lash out and hurt them back), the easier they are to leave.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
