A, You are right in not getting sucked into your h's family situation. Sounds to me that your sil is on to your h and he knows it. He knows he can't BS her like h can the rest of the family. They do tend to avoid those that will call them on their behavior, just like a child will do the same.
About his vacation and his comment about sleeping. I believe him for a change. He's not sleeping at night and the demons are bouncing around in his head like ping pong balls all of the time when it's quiet. Depression is having a field day w/him and he doesn't have the energy any longer to play all night and day. He's exhausted and I would venture to say that what he does w/his free time is mostly to sleep, except for coming to your home and being around the family. Please understand, I'm not making excuses for his behavior because he needs as much help as he can get from a professional.
As for knowing which way the situation is going to go? Only God knows that answer to that one and he's not ready to reveal anything to you at this time. Keep focusing on you and your children. This is the most stable path you have right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
