You need to take your battle to the Lord since you are a believer.
You need to ask HIM to help you:
have patience, strength, forgiveness for both your H and ow, unconditional love, and remember, everything is in God's perfect timing, not ours.
Have you been praying The Hedge of Thorns prayer? It is around here somewhere or you can do a Google search and it comes up. I would advise you to pray that.
With regard to the topics. If you stick to one thread, then everyone has a chance to check on you in one thread instead of three or four which gets very confusing.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
You wanted her opinion, her advice is solid and on the money.
Oh my goodness, yes!
I'm glad you're finding some comfort.
To get God's best for you, you have to be obedient. Otherwise you will block the blessings. God lays the path for his best right before us --- It's open and clear...and straight ahead.
But the other paths look a little interesting...but they don't lead to the same place.
When these feelings come up....give yourself a stop. If you're a visual person, do the stop sign technique. I'm a more audio/kinestic person.....So I need a physical barrier, which isn't realistic....or audio.....I use self-talk. Get yourself a phrase.....and just stick it in your head.
And THEN...go do something nice for yourself.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
I have been asking God to help me with my decision as to getting divorced..I cant stand the pain of it any longer...I just found out that they still speak and possibly still see each other occasionally...he lives 900 miles away.and when I heard they were still in contact it took me back to the first time I heard of it..
In my heart if he is still seeing her ...it pours more salt on my wound... I feel if we divorce maybe I can start to heal.. I will no longer be his wife.. I will keep praying and believing for a miracle but for now I think it is what I need to do to heal.
Call me stupid or naive but since he had not divorced me like she wants him too... I thought she was smart enough to stop her relationship with him.. but who knows what he is telling her..that he has filed for divorce just waiting on the court date etc.etc.etc,
She must be in lala land herself..if it was me I would want to see some sort of papers that he had filed how stupid she must be....or really in love????? they say love is blind and I know for a fact that it is or we would not be holding on for dear life for all the WAS.
I have to pray for an answer form the Lord... because right now I feel like divorce is the only option..
I did call her and asked her not to call my husband while our daughter was there visiting her Dad to alt least wait until she left.. Daughter called me Tues nite she saw her # on the caller ID and she knew he still spoke to her
She now wants to come home..says she hates her Dad and when she looks at him it makes her want to throw up.. that is how I got the # did not discuss nothing else just to stop the calls till our daughter lefther dad's..
you know what she said I REALLY DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOU ... DONT ALL ME AGAIN THEN SHE HUNG UP...
told him that I called her and just said what I needed to say. of course he was mad...oh well s**t happens.
I think I am done guys..... I know only I can decide what is best for me but like some input...
I am so sorry you have chosen to just give up and that standing is too hard for you.
Who is going to pray for your Husband?
What happened to for better or for worse?
What happened to trusting God to heal your Marriage and restore it?
Don't get me wrong, it is your choice to do whatever you want to do, and if you feel you have grounds for a Divorce and God has released you from the Marriage, then by all means go for it.
You have support here regardless of the choice you make.
So far you haven't made many good choices and maybe it is time for you to just be still and stop spinning like a top.
How do you hear God's voice throught the chaos?
((((hugs))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Me divorcing him does not mean I wont keep praying..it just hurts too much to know he is still in touch with her.. I do have faith and I pray all day long and sometimes I can see myself walking into our friends house where he lives and I see myself hugging them and saying to them I knew God would do this
I have feelings in my heart that for some reason I KNOW IT IS COMING AT ANY MOMENT... and then I have doubt and fear I start praying and yes.. I get comforted by my all mighty God
And you are right I have been spinning and spinning with bad results... How do you just sit still BND I wish and pray that I can... but I just want to hear his voice...to touch him.. to see him in person and just hug him and tell him it is all going to be allright and I will be here for him when he is ready
When we speak on the phone and it is good he knows I love him and pray for him...and lately when I send him emails about blessiings he sends them right back to me.
and that makes me know that the Lord is speaking to him... I ask every night that God remove pride,to turn his heart of stone to flesh...for all the WAS spouses that have left behind broken hearted children and husbands and wives.. that we have a revival of them going home to their families....
God answers so many of my prayers for my children.. promotions,raises,relationships being restored and he always does this for me but I feel like he is not listening to mine ...I know this started in Jan.of 06 and it is not a very long time but I am tired...
I go to work and listen and pray for guidance...and I know God is right by my side... so why do I get so discouraged... I dont understand..
I will keep praying... we have a child still at home how can I not talk to him I admire so S/F and you for fighting till the end maybe you all have stronger faith than I. I really dont know what to do... I am crying I cant even see the keyboards..more like sobbing because I dont want to give up... but right now I see no other option..
They say that the devil is attacking us the most when something is going to happen and maybe he knows that someting is coming for the good of our family...
Since I have gone thru this I never believed in satan... but he is very real ...thoughts emotions and just wanting to do something bad... I will keep posting in here if nothing else just to vent and read. I know your story is one that was one of the hardest by what I read.. never really have read the whole story.. Just like S/F and Hoosiermom those are tough stories and yet they sre still waiting and being patient.. what is wrong with me
Sorry so long but I feel if I can just talk to people how are going thru this could maybe feel better.. God knows my family they are getting tired of me being sad..I am not like that all the time but I feel like I cant talk to them any more..
Irmat, You have anxiety. Have you thought about getting some meds for it? There is nothing ungodly about getting some medical help. I took Klonopin for a long time just to get through the days and nights following the bomb. I also took an AD to help with the depression. This is a journey of sorts, lots of little steps,it doesn't happen overnight. You have to persevere and fight the good fight. Put on your armour of God and face the enemy instead of backing down. This has nothing to do with who has more faith, you will get more each day of this horrendous journey and it will strengthen you. The OW is nothing. She is merely taking up headspace in your life. Like a germ or a disease. The more attention you pay to her, the more she will fight for your Husband. To her it is a game. As for being still, it also takes practice. It is hard when your mind is racing and your heart is pounding, but you do it and you learn to breathe through the pain. Eventually, you get to a place where you can rise above the pain and the other stuff no longer bothers you. This is called detachment. This needs to be your goal. (((((hugs))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I do take meds and they have helped but maybe I need to look into a differnt kind...I was once on Effexor and that was better than what I am on now maybe I need to ask Dr to switch me to them again.. It was just so hard getting off of them...Feel better after just posting and reading your responses...
Thanks for listening I get like this on the weekends especially... I took a second Job to help with money of course and with my depression at least I wont be home crying and letting my daughter see that...
Please explain to me TO SIT STILL..... Your are probably thinking how stupid I am asking that question
As far as the O/W you said she will fight harder.. but she really doesnt because she already has his heart already He calls her several times a day like he used to call me...I have been replaced in his heart... She was his lover 13yrs. ago a 2 yr affair They had a relationship...They met up again a year ago. and he told me all the old feelings came back again when he told me ILYBIANILWY.. as soon as he saw her he loved her again..
We worked it out the last time this happened we were good for 12 yrs... till his Mom died and then his father then all this started. I babysat her child at one time. My mom always used to tell me that she wanted my husband but I thought my husband would never do this but I was so wrong..
he said the last time it was due to me never wanting to have sex with him...I recall differently
