Another one joins the flock (Part II)

[Mike85]

mishka:

Here's the thing - I gain nothing by abandoning her (as he had done). I gain nothing by saying "I told you so." I gain nothing by telling her that she's the one who chose that alcoholic, self-destructive, selfish, immature lardbutt. I gain nothing by saying "Well, you made your choice, now sit alone in your apartment and deal with the consequences."

First off, that's not who I am. I would NEVER do that to the woman I love.

That asshat OM gave me the opportunity to show W that I have always been, and continue to be, someone on whom W can rely. The juxtaposition of our characters was evident, and hopefully will continue to be so to W.

She knows I hate him. She knows that what she is doing hurts me. She knows that I want her back. She originally called me *only* as a last resort, and was uncomfortable about doing so. I opened my house to her, opened my heart to her, and she knew -and knows- how it tears me up inside. I know her well enough to know that she knows -at some level- the cost to me. She saw that I was willing to pay that cost for her.

She was in the honeymoon phase with him, yet the cracks were already showing prior to this. His overeating and laying around bothers her. Then he made a point of having a talk with her about how he is just not "into" kids. And now, he's done this. All within two months. I know that right now, she'll probably try to rationalize his behavior to others, but I also know that she's beginning to realize that she may have made some poor choices, including him. Hell, SHE brought up some R stuff yesterday and we discussed the possibility of us selling the house and US buying one on the lake. SHE made the point of telling me that I needed to know that she still loves me.

I just need to be patient, supportive, and not push her.

Damned straight this is hard. And it still hurts. But I don't want to make the mistake of overreacting and spooking her. As jack said, I have to be cautious - for me, and for us. I can honestly see how confused and (in her own words) "screwed up" she is, and this has diminished my anger for her and made me more compassionate. I hate what she's doing (the sin), but I still love her (the sinner).

BTW, I thank God for the strength. Every night and morning, I pray for strength, wisdom, patience, and compassion. Any of those qualities I seem to have in abumdance, He is providing.